Okay, so I have been putting this post off for unknown reasons. And this morning I think I figured it out....I was not quite ready to let go of Christmas Break (and yes, I still insist on calling it that at my Ranches!!!). But it is time to GET REAL. It was such a wonderful time with my family...
Of course my sons were home from college, oh what a joy! With their smiles and messes and tons of friends and laundry we all had so much fun. But what I miss the most I think is my chats with my oldest redhead; he is an early riser like me and we have such wonderful talks in the wee hours of the morning. We talk about everything under the sun (or the moon as it sometimes seems) and often debate the problems of the world...
It was so very hard to let them go again, but to know that they are on their way to such great things makes it easier and to have seen their amazing growth in such a short time frame was a real eye opener. So yes, the tears flowed; some from sadness but many out of sheer joy to see my boys fly away on wings of their very own.
It is my family here at home that helps keep me sane; the wonderful, tolerant creatures that they are. With their jokes and helping hands and never ending support for all of my hair brained ideas we get by. And at the end of the day we know we are a team; a well oiled machine that keeps this ranch running and is preparing to build a whole new adventure together....
Which leads me to my new start for 2012; come on, we have all felt it. It is not some crazy end of the Mayan calendar or doomsday catastrophe. But it is a time for change and new beginnings. Time to open up to new ideas and become better neighbors and friends; more loving people all around.
And I have decided that where that starts for me is right here at home. It is time to concentrate on me and my family. What? Didn't she just say to become a better neighbor, friend and loving person all around? Yes, I sure did, and I have this odd feeling that I have gotten a bit off track.
I don't know where, if it was my back injury or just busy raising a family all the while fighting to keep it together financially in a crappy economy, but I have lost my way a bit. And when I say "my way" I mean my goals in general; and I had to take a look at those goals and re-evaluate.
And what exactly are those goals? Well, that is a good question, but I do know that I am headed for self-sustainability. Period. I am sick of depending on anyone. A boss for money a store for food a power company for lights....You name it, I'm done. Don't get me wrong, I am SO appreciative of all of those things for getting us where we are now, but it is time for us, The Jeute clan to move on.
Yes, those are totally lofty goals and they are going to take some time. But do you know what happened as soon as I realized that this is what was really bothering me lately? The loss of me and "my way"? Such a release and a wave of what I would call good fortune!
It started with me praying. Praying for nothing; because that is all I really knew what to pray for. "Dear God, I'm not very good at this and I'm not even sure what to pray for besides all of the usual things like the health and happiness of all of my (and your) children....but other than that I leave it up to YOU!"
And you know what else really struck me? Talking to my friend Lynley on the phone the other day she said to me "a person has gotta get out and do something, even if it is something wrong, at least you are doing something!" and she is absolutely right. I think fear stops too many of us from doing things that we really would love to try but are afraid we might do wrong. Well, who the hell cares? It is much better to try something and know that you did it wrong and learn from your mistakes than to sit around wondering if you shoulda, coulda, woulda.
So I'm praying, and letting go of the things I need to let go (you know things that take your time and are not healthy or productive toward your goal) and trying new things. And it has led me to two new Animal Consulting cases, one huge farm rescue (which I love due to the challenge and the joy of placing animals in a new loving, forever home!).....But most importantly it led me to doing something I didn't think I could do:
Build an incubator from scratch out of ALL recycled materials (the Judy way, of course)!!! Complete with 14, yes 14 turkey eggs from my spectacular Chocolate turkey hen who started laying eggs, well, two weeks ago. A turkey lays one egg per day so I had only 13 days to get this project together with a little help from who else but my wonderful family. It took a while to test it and get it just so, but her is the finished product:
And my girl really surprised me on the last morning because I had added the 13 eggs and then I went up on the 14th day and there she was just getting up off the nest after incubating an egg for me overnight. So that egg should be just about on the same schedule as the others as it takes 12-24 hours for the eggs to warm up to temperature and them to get fertilized. I gently grabbed it and ran down to the house like I was carrying the Olympic flame or something!