Ode to Shasta

Shasta and Shade

Please Lord, wake me up from this nightmare that I am in.  Oh wait, I am fully awake and this is my real life.  Last night I went to put my daughter to bed and our Baby Girl Shasta was lying peacefully on her bed like she had been all day.  When my daughter grabbed her to cuddle up for the night she made an odd sound and her mouth sort of fell open; I tried to act normal and finish putting My Bell to bed and took the cat out of the room to my husband.

She was gone within minutes.  She made one more noise, a loud meow and then she was gone.  My husband and I just stood there in total shock, our beloved Raggedy Ann Doll Kitty was gone forever!!!  She got this reputation from years of being carried around like a rag doll; literally being tossed over the shoulder of many children with her arms on either side of their necks.  She would hug them as if her little life depended upon it and let them take her wherever they were headed off to play...


Although most visitors to the Royal Ranch did not even know that we had Shasta as she was very shy, but she had a soft spot for the children, especially our son Austin.  She was drawn to him from the very beginning of his and our oldest son Thomas' friendship so many years ago; and she would sleep on him whenever she got the chance!  Their next visit home will not be the same without her...

In loving memory of the best Raggedy Ann Doll a girl could EVER ask for.  We love you dearly, Shasta.

PS  When I clicked on the link to find it for Shade, I re-read that post and thought GEEZ, if I only knew then what I know now....  Yes, the loss of Shade really was an indicator of times a changin'; I have lost my herdsire, Marcel since then, which to be honest really made me lose my passion for llamas...  Now the loss of my beloved Shasta.  The loss of The Royal Ranch is taking its toll on us all it seems; it is most definitely time to move on and get a fresh start.  When we told our kids about the foreclosure, my son Nathan said that it was okay because he thinks that this place may be poisoning us and after what has been going on I'm not too sure if I don't agree with him.

An American Tragedy

     Every day at 5:30 am my favorite radio station plays our National Anthem; normally I look forward to this and if I have a hat on, I proudly toss it off and place my hand over my heart (even if I am driving) and belt it out!  And I am sure whenever the Pledge of Allegiance is said, my voice can be heard ringing out clearly above the rest; that was until yesterday, and ironically I had to lead both of them in one day.  Yesterday, I slowly took off my hat, and I sang, but more with a dutiful song in my heart; my daughter was with me, we must teach them respect.  And when I led the Pledge of Allegiance at my meeting in the afternoon, my voice was the same as the others; I just didn’t have it in me.

      This is a very difficult story to share because it is so very personal, but if it were to help another family or two from making the same mistakes, no decisions that we made then this is a well worth it piece.  Where do I start?  With the loss of 1/3 of our income?  Maybe I should start with a real bang and try and explain those pesky medical bills, you know the almost $30,000 worth (even though we are considered well insured)?!?  The loss of our home?  No, to be honest I want to start with my family, because that is what really matters to me…bottom line.

      Well, if you haven’t met me, my name is Judy Jeute.  Up until last week, I was probably the most proud American you could meet.  My husband Tom (who is a machinist by trade, biker by choice) makes parts that go up into space (!) and for all sorts of medical parts; all of which are proudly stamped with Made In USA.  Together we have so very proudly raised the most amazing family; we now have two sons in college, a sophomore in high school and a sixth grader!  And I truly don’t mean to brag, but everyone tells me that they are the most respectful kids you’ll ever meet.  :)

       I’m really not sure what came first, my back going bad or the loss of income, it really all seems somewhat of a blur now; but in 2008 I started feeling hip pain.  It took my organized health care company two years to find a severely ruptured and herniated thoracic disc.  In October of 2010 I had to have emergency surgery after I had to write a letter to said organized health care because my doctor was literally joking and betting my husband a "nickel“ about the size my disc would be in the MRI he incorrectly ordered.  I now have permanent and severe nerve pain, but I am blessed to be able to walk.

      The loss of income is the same old American story, I’m afraid.  The bottom fell out of the economy and then our President decided to not support our space program which directly affected any company sending parts into space (!).  But I had also been working on building our small businesses; building our dreams.  We have been living on our little ranch here on the mountain and sharing our passion for it with the rest of the world.  That is really hard to do with a broken back…but I am the type of gal to roll with the punches, so I kept our website up.  Hoping that someday I would get better, and not only that, but I am always changing my business plan to adjust to my life changes.

       The first time we almost lost our home it was because of the HAMP program.  We had a heck of a time getting on that darn program in the first place, but I did it; all the while fighting for my life practically with an organized health system that would not listen to me.  Anyway, we finally got accepted into the program, did all of our trial payments and then less than a week before our first permanent payment was due they told us that our payment would be raised more than $450.  I don’t know many families of six that have a spare $450 in a week’s notice and we started off on the bad foot, and it all went downhill from there.  We ended up paying over $10,000 to pull it out of foreclosure.

       Right away we started getting calls from our mortgage company (Wells Fargo) that they could help us with a lower payment and a new in-house modification.  Although I was suspicious, we proceeded, thinking what could it hurt?  I got really concerned in December when our Home Preservation Specialist told us not to make a payment as it would “skew” her numbers.  In January we were told we had a good deal going and were even given preliminary terms, although they were terrible; they would have us automatically upside down in our home, we had dreams so it didn’t really matter.  We were told we would hear back by the 27^th of January.

       On the 31^st I was on the phone with a really nice representative from our second mortgage, which also happens to be Wells Fargo because it was one of those fancy deals where they “roll part of our mortgage into a second” thing…  Anyway I decided to tell this nice lady my concerns; like how Tom and I had each been leaving multiple messages and not hearing back and that we had been told not to make payments and that now I was afraid we were in a position of foreclosure again.  This wonderful gal finally got through to someone who just coldly told me that indeed our home is lost.  We have been denied our modification and we are in foreclosure.

                The sad thing is how we were denied.  They used my own hard working drive against me; the fact that I kept my website up and intend to not take this back injury lying down and want to still be a contributing member of society.  When we told them Tom had lost his overtime due to the bad economy, they saw that he gets 2.5 hours each week opening up the shop (on each and every paycheck that we sent, probably 12-14+) because he is the foreman, they took that out of the equation because it is not “reliable income”.  But what really concerns me is the dates of everything; our house was being taken back much faster than this modification process was working.  If we are lucky it looks like we have four months left in a home that we brought our youngest home to.

Which brings me back to my spectacular family; we actually only started out as five.  We officially grew to six when we adopted our oldest son’s best friend due to a tricky family situation.  His father wouldn’t fill out the paperwork to send him to college and we needed to get his cleft pallet fixed before adulthood or there is no fixing it at all.  We thank our lucky stars each and every day that he accepted us as his family; he is an amazing kid and will make us very proud parents when he graduates alongside our other son at college in 3 ½ years.

But our three boys are active; and alongside my multiple MRI’s, surgery, etc. for my back injury (that we never will find out exactly what injured it, I have severe Degenerative Disc Disease as well which may have caused it along with ranching and the good/hard life) we have had broken bones, head injuries and concussions.  All of which really add up when a family is called co-insured; with very high deductibles, co-pays, etc. but even higher premiums for both us and Tom’s employer.  It adds up to almost thirty grand of debt.

When I applied for Social Security Disability like my doctor encouraged me to do, to try and help out with some of these crazy bills they called me before they even had all of my documentation and literally laughed.  Laughed because I had been self-employed for all of those years before this happened, I was not entitled to any government income.  I went for help at our local resource center; if you have ONE child and an income under $75,000 you are considered in the high-risk category; but somehow with Tom’s income we simply didn’t match the criteria for one assistance program.  It was so very kind of that resource center to pay one of our heating bills with their own local money; a one-time deal.

I am not concerned about my family; we are a strong, well bonded unit that can withstand any storm that is tossed our way.  As I said, we have a plan and we have dreams; although as I write this I am totally shell shocked and in mourning for a home that is so full of memories and the markings of a family being raised; but the memories we will carry with us.  In a few days we will recover, strap on our boots and begin to pack up a lifetime.

My concern is for our country.  This, my proud family of six and the situation we are in, is a prime example of bank bailouts and organized health care.  But, we are one family in hundreds of thousands that this is happening to; and I for one think that is criminal.  As I said, this was a difficult story to share, but one worth getting out there if it will stop one more family from losing their home.  So where do we go from here?  Stay tuned.  I intend to talk more in the upcoming posts about the hows and whys of why I believe this was due to bank bailouts and why I believe that organized health care is a terrible idea.  I also will give some specific examples and tips as we go through the foreclosure process.  Again, if it can help another family, I am all for it.

Judy Jeute

Is it really over? Time for a new start. Period.

Okay, so I have been putting this post off for unknown reasons.  And this morning I think I figured it out....I was not quite ready to let go of Christmas Break (and yes, I still insist on calling it that at my Ranches!!!).  But it is time to GET REAL.  It was such a wonderful time with my family...

Of course my sons were home from college, oh what a joy!  With their smiles and messes and tons of friends and laundry we all had so much fun.  But what I miss the most I think is my chats with my oldest redhead; he is an early riser like me and we have such wonderful talks in the wee hours of the morning.  We talk about everything under the sun (or the moon as it sometimes seems) and often debate the problems of the world...

It was so very hard to let them go again, but to know that they are on their way to such great things makes it easier and to have seen their amazing growth in such a short time frame was a real eye opener.  So yes, the tears flowed; some from sadness but many out of sheer joy to see my boys fly away on wings of their very own.

It is my family here at home that helps keep me sane; the wonderful, tolerant creatures that they are.  With their jokes and helping hands and never ending support for all of my hair brained ideas we get by.  And at the end of the day we know we are a team; a well oiled machine that keeps this ranch running and is preparing to build a whole new adventure together....

Which leads me to my new start for 2012; come on, we have all felt it.  It is not some crazy end of the Mayan calendar or doomsday catastrophe.  But it is a time for change and new beginnings.  Time to open up to new ideas and become better neighbors and friends; more loving people all around.

And I have decided that where that starts for me is right here at home.  It is time to concentrate on me and my family.  What?  Didn't she just say to become a better neighbor, friend and loving person all around?  Yes, I sure did, and I have this odd feeling that I have gotten a bit off track.

I don't know where, if it was my back injury or just busy raising a family all the while fighting to keep it together financially in a crappy economy, but I have lost my way a bit.  And when I say "my way" I mean my goals in general; and I had to take a look at those goals and re-evaluate.

And what exactly are those goals?  Well, that is a good question, but I do know that I am headed for self-sustainability.  Period.  I am sick of depending on anyone.  A boss for money a store for food a power company for lights....You name it, I'm done.  Don't get me wrong, I am SO appreciative of all of those things for getting us where we are now, but it is time for us, The Jeute clan to move on.

Yes, those are totally lofty goals and they are going to take some time.  But do you know what happened as soon as I realized that this is what was really bothering me lately?  The loss of me and "my way"?  Such a release and a wave of what I would call good fortune!

It started with me praying.  Praying for nothing; because that is all I really knew what to pray for.  "Dear God, I'm not very good at this and I'm not even sure what to pray for besides all of the usual things like the health and happiness of all of my (and your) children....but other than that I leave it up to YOU!"

And you know what else really struck me?  Talking to my friend Lynley on the phone the other day she said to me "a person has gotta get out and do something, even if it is something wrong, at least you are doing something!" and she is absolutely right.  I think fear stops too many of us from doing things that we really would love to try but are afraid we might do wrong.  Well, who the hell cares?  It is much better to try something and know that you did it wrong and learn from your mistakes than to sit around wondering if you shoulda, coulda, woulda.

So I'm praying, and letting go of the things I need to let go (you know things that take your time and are not healthy or productive toward your goal) and trying new things.  And it has led me to two new Animal Consulting cases, one huge farm rescue (which I love due to the challenge and the joy of placing animals in a new loving, forever home!).....But most importantly it led me to doing something I didn't think I could do:

Build an incubator from scratch out of ALL recycled materials (the Judy way, of course)!!!  Complete with 14, yes 14 turkey eggs from my spectacular Chocolate turkey hen who started laying eggs, well, two weeks ago.  A turkey lays one egg per day so I had only 13 days to get this project together with a little help from who else but my wonderful family.  It took a while to test it and get it just so, but her is the finished product:

And my girl really surprised me on the last morning because I had added the 13 eggs and then I went up on the 14th day and there she was just getting up off the nest after incubating an egg for me overnight.  So that egg should be just about on the same schedule as the others as it takes 12-24 hours for the eggs to warm up to temperature and them to get fertilized.  I gently grabbed it and ran down to the house like I was carrying the Olympic flame or something!

 And this picture of my beautiful Chocolate Hen proves that dreams really do come true.  If you all recall, I asked Santa for a camera for Christmas.  Well I got one!!!

My Christmas Notebook

Yesterday in my journal blog I mentioned my Christmas Notebook and I realized that maybe everybody is not familiar with that concept; so I decided to do a post about it here, for you Rebels.  My Christmas Notebook is an old spiral that I have kept my Christmas notes is since the kids were tiny little creatures.

At the top of the page I simply put what year it is.  I then make a column for each child; blessedly this year I got to add a whole column for our new son Austin.  In previous years that was always a bit tricky as I had to buy him the same thing I bought the other "friends".  Anyway, underneath each column (which takes up less than a third of the page in my family) I have plenty of room left to make a list of nieces and nephews.  Underneath that goes all of the couple gifts to my sisters and parents.  Lastly I have a list of neighbors and friends that I either bake for or have the kids make stuff for.

Originally, I just started the notebook out as a way to keep myself organized while I was shopping.  And also to avoid the embarrassment of giving the same gift 2 years in a row (or more like I did with the wreaths a decade or so ago, I got really into wreath making and gave them away 3 years in a row and totally forgot about it, lol!!!); but I have now found that is a wonderful trip down memory lane each year when I pull it out to prepare for Christmas shopping.

See, I keep all of the kids' Dear Santa letters in there paper clipped to each year that they wrote them as well.  So for instance the other day as I was going through and making my list and checking it twice, we found a couple of those old letters and now that the cat is out of the bag completely at my house; we pulled a few of those Santa letters out and read them as a family (well poor Dad was working, but the rest of us were here and boy did we crack up!).

The first one we read was so sweet from my daughter saying that she wanted a play pony (thank God for the "play" part, eh?) and something nice for her brothers.  And then we open up one from my oldest son, whom of course by this time knew that I was on the receiving end of these and had only sat down to write one to humor my daughter.  It said:  Dear Santa,  don't bring my sister or brother anything, not even coal, as they have been TERRIBLE this year.  Also, I will leave plenty of Lima Beans for your reindeer so they can fart their way across America.

Well, all righty then.  Merry Christmas to me.  I mean we all sat here and laughed until there were tears rolling down our cheeks.  Some were tender and sweet, okay only those from my daughter....  And some were funny as all get out, but they were all ones that I am so happy that I have in one place.

So make 2011 be the year you start your very own Christmas Notebook because it is so well worth it.  You will never have another repeat gift again, you will have wonderful memories to look back on and it doesn't have to be anything special.  Mine is an old spiral that one of the kids didn't use all of the pages in  in school.  Recycled!!!!  Oh, and don't forget the secret column up in the corner for stocking stuffers and Santa gifts!!!  That way even if the kids get ahold of your secret notebook, they will never know who S (for Santa) is....

Unbelievable!

A couple of chuckles for us this fine Sunday morning... a cross post!

And my VERY favorite of all:

Thanks Bubby!

You know your children are becoming adults when they send you things like this!!!  My son at college who always complained about my "greenness" now must remember it with a sense of fondness, I am thinking....

Join us Rebels, Tell the FDA to regulate GMO foods!

Good Morning Rebels!  Happy hump day; hope you are having a wonderful week; but even more importantly I hope you will join me in signing this all important petition.  It is high time we know exactly what we are eating; and that people who are not yet even aware of how deeply GMO foods are embedded into our everyday diets, become aware and knowledgeable about what they are putting into the mouths of their beloved families!

5 years ago today...

Has it really been 5 years?  In some ways it seems like a lifetime and sometimes it seems like yesterday that our little community was changed forever by a crazed gunman.  You can read a parent's perspective here and a teacher's perspective here; either way it is a story that has affected this picturesque town in ways we never dreamed of...good and bad.

The Recycled Garden/Small Victories

 Pepper

Well, this might  be one of the most confusing posts I have ever written-ha!!!  It is sort of a two part series I guess, but I didn't do it intentionally, you see.  What happened is in early July I started a garden, a completely recylced garden; and one that I am darn proud of.  But I don't have a camera right now....so I kept putting off this post.  And for another, bigger reason; my garden is not NEAR the producer that I had hoped that it would be.  But anyway, read on; these next few paragraphs have been sitting in my drafts folder since July 5th (I do believe):

The story of the Recycled Garden really began almost twenty years ago when Tom and I broke our backs soon after being married in a rather large garden in a very muddy rental that the slugs ate every bit of.  I think we literally got three leaves of lettuce, but after seeing how many slugs had been on the damn things we weren't touching it!

Fast forward about 17 or 18 years and we try again on a much smaller scale and life and health and everything else gets in the way and not much came of the last garden we tried.  But this year is going to be different, dangit!!!  I have really thought and planned and planned and thought....

So, really it started out with a nice patch of land that we had tilled up.  Then Tom and the neighbor got a little crazy cleaning the llama pens with the tractor one day and dumped literally three feet of composting material on top of my prepared garden.  Now, that may sound nice, but this is stuff that may take a few years to break down properly...and again it is three feet deep!

But then my sister donated me these two lovely rhubarb plants that love composted material!  Well, let's get to work on that pile of sh**!  I spent the day Saturday raking it and leveling it all back out and it really turned out very nice.  But the best part is the stuff I used to make my little "raised" bed; old bricks and concrete core samples (these are perfectly round concrete, I have always liked them and waited and waited for a use for them; they are heavy as all get out!).  The bricks are kind of cool because many of them are not just plain bricks; one has a criss cross pattern in it, etc.  Very artistic.

I broke the main garden down into quadrants.  I had planted a rhubarb "crown" (we broke the original plants down into five plants) in each corner to prevent deer from coming into the garden.  Carrots, corn, lettuce and spinach each got planted into one quadrant yesterday.  Yes, it is a bit late to start some of these things, but on my organic, non-GMO seed packets it said to wait until soil temps are at 60*, which would be about now for my altitude; so between travel plans and that fact I figure I am not too far off.

At the head of my cute little garden I placed "The Gate to Nowhere" as my daughter calls it.  It's just a cool old heavy metal gate with neat decorative metal that I can let my beans grow up.  On either side of that is the head and foot board of an old baby crib that I got from a local church when I worked the food pantry;I'll have a second type of bean on those, Royal's of course.  It's funny, they just don't make stuff as cool or as decorative as they  used to it seems.

And then today I was walking around my little homestead; putting the llamas on various stake lines to finish mowing the fall foliage with the turkeys, dogs and cats all close on my heels when I realized we had a very successful harvest for our first year at 9,000 feet in elevation.  I made a salad one night from my very own lettuce and it was delicious.  My daughter comes home everyday from school and pulls a 4inch carrot out of the ground and then takes one to share with her favorite llama, Pepper.  We have two neighbors who are so happy about their turkeys they are already looking forward to next years adventures in turkeydom!

So, with or without pictures, this was a harvest that was worth sharing and a victory for The Royal Ranch and it's Rebel friends.  We didn't get much, but we did get some, and we got enough to share... And we will also use our knowledge and move on.  Oh, and MOST importantly, I proved my son wrong who said I wouldn't be able to grow ANTYHING!!!  HA!

Llamas and sheep and turkeys, oh my!!!

Photo courtesy of Kevin, our renter.

It seems that my last few posts have continually been of me sort of apologizing for not being here for one reason or another...I realize that is because my life has really been in an upheaval of sorts lately.  My sons moved on to college, my youngest started middle school, and I found out that my back "issue" is a permanent disability all at once; which led me to start making huge changes here at the ranch.

Well, this last week has really been a whopper if I do say so myself.  It started last Saturday when we place three llamas; and I must say that those boys really moved up in the world!  They now reside on 160 acres in a spectacular valley about an hour drive away; so I will be able to visit them often.  The transfer of the boys went flawlessly thanks to my fellow llama wrangler and partner in life and all things crazy, my hubby.

The very next day we headed off to the sister in law's house; as she works at a livestock auction.  I was going to take Paco, my ram, whom I was so positive would go as a fantastic breeding animal.  We loaded him and Esther, my ewe up (just for company for Paco) and headed out for eastern Colorado.  Monday was the big livestock auction, and when I say big, you must take that with a grain of salt because this really is a small town auction, but that is what I wanted for Paco and us since this was our first experience ever.

When we backed the trailer in there was commotion about our beautiful sheep and so I put Esther in the auction too; with a minimum.  They both sold at a premium price for what sheep are going for these days; I got what I purchased them for two years ago!  So, anyway, Annie (SIL), didn't have any help that day, so Tom and I pitched in and helped "load out".  Meaning that we got to load out all of the animals that were purchased at auction that day.  Some of them just a day old.  It was quite a learning experience for Tom, Isabella, Nathan and myself; but it was really cool because I was able to tell some of the new owners "hey, this one has a cough" or "this goat needs to be milked right away" or whatever.  I am hoping that maybe some of the new owners got instructions that they might not have gotten otherwise.

Esther had been one of the first to go.  I was sad to see her go, and I am pretty sure that she went to a great home.  And I say pretty sure because as the day wore on and I got more tired I saw some pretty crazy stuff.  Like a guy stuffing 16 goats and a giant pig in a trailer on top of a load of lumber that he had purchased; but we got them in!!!  All day I waited and wondered when Paco's new owner would come....and then a semi pulled up to the loading dock and my stomach sank.  That's right Rebels; my beautiful ram was headed to PA to a packing plant.

And that is also why they don't let crazy chicks like me carry guns; because when I went to say goodbye to him I literally thought that if I had had a gun I might just shoot him dead right there to avoid him having to travel half way across the country to get the old hammer head.  But I am a big girl, and I had made a big girl decision and I had to abide by it...  Think what you want of me but that is truly the way I felt.

Tom didn't think I looked to good after that little shock and working so hard all day so he took us all to Carl's Jr. after the auction; and that is when he calmly reminded me that he needed to take Tia with him the next day; she was to have knee surgery.  A dear friend was paying for her surgery and was going to care for her during her rehab so we were supposed to lose her for at least a couple of months; while she recuperated (I didn't think I was capable with my back).  I lost it!  I started choking on my all time favorite guacamole burger and was literally making a scene.  I had forgotten that the days were so close together and just didn't want to talk about one more loss at the time.

So Tuesday dawns and I have to say goodbye to Tia.  I get through that and take my son to the orthodontist and finally get his braces on.  Now this is a really big deal.  This kid has been waiting 18 years for these braces; he has a cleft pallet that has never been properly fixed and the clock was really ticking on this thing; if we didn't start now, there was no fixing it at all.  Big emotions there (this is my adopted son).  And then he's gone...back to college.  Another goodbye.

I'm not ashamed to say, Tuesday when I was driving home, I have never been so tired in my life.  I had said goodbye to my kids multiple times by now.  My back was killing me from working the auction the day before, I couldn't get the fact that my spectacular ram was on that semi headed east towards a hammer that I don't even believe in and now I was contributing too out of my head.... And my beloved Tia was gone for months!  At least, maybe more.  I got the kids off the bus and went to bed.

Well, it's amazing what a nap will accomplish; because when I woke up there was a message.  There had been a mix-up and Tia had to come home for a night....which led us to find out she really didn't need any lifting....she could still walk on three legs just like she did before the surgery!  And  do you know the most amazing thing Rebels????  My dear friend (actually Tia's breeder) still paid for her surgery!  And sent us all sorts of meds for the dear patient, like stuff for her arthritis which she is sure to get, and pain meds that oh thank the Lord that she has had because this has been one very painful surgery for the girl.

Tia and I have had a very busy week, what with all the pain and biting at her knee; we didn't even realize it was getting so close to Saturday....Turkey Day!  You know, I wasn't sure how to feel about Turkey Day, I was dreading it and looking forward to it all at once.  You Rebels know how much I loved those turkeys.  They were my pride and joy; they followed me all over the ranch, even to get the mail and when I laughed they gobbled.  But due to human intervention, if we had not harvested these turkeys, they would have gone down on their legs (their breasts are too large, the legs can't support them), or they would have died of a heart attack.

Photo courtesy of Teri, our friend/neighbor/customer!

Of course I had done a ton of research and was all ready for the big turkey harvesting and we turned it into a big party.  Check out some of the pictures on the facebook page if you want, still don't have a camera, thinking about putting on a donation button for that!  The pics were taken by a friend/neighbor/customer.  We were blessed that morning by our first visit by a big bull moose so I knew things were going to go well that day.  (I may do a post on turkey harvesting for my own records and for those that are agriculture readers, so  those that aren't beware!)

I can't believe all the changes we have made around here.  Three llamas, two sheep, two turkeys...  And we are not done yet.  But I think that is enough for right now.  My heart and head are still reeling from the loss of all the critters and kids.  And I would like to say another thing, I always say that things happen for a reason and I firmly believe that.  Like one of my turkeys getting killed by a neighbors dog and us not having one of that type to harvest for our family this year; well maybe our family is meant to have a heritage turkey (meaning not human intervened) for our first bird; who knows?  And we were invited over for the turkey dinner at our friend's house...there sure is plenty to go around!  Things always turn out the way they are supposed to...now wait to hear what I have up my sleeve!  Please, stay tuned in!!!  I have a music clue cued up for tomorrow as to what The Royal Ranch may be up to next....

Home of the FREE becasuse of the BRAVE....

 Photo courtesy of tattoodesign.me

A day to reflect, remember and appreciate all that we have, the freedoms we take for granted and those we hold dear.

My boys are home!!!

 

(One of my favorite pictures ever!)

And almost that time of year again!

Here I said I was going to be back to posting more regularly and I have let my beloved blog go again; I just can't seem to get back into the swing of things somehow.  I know I will get there Rebels, have faith...But this morning I woke up with my heart bursting with happiness as my house is literally jam-packed with kids!!! (I've even got 'em sleeping in the back of my truck, yeehaw!!!)

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of my sons.  Thomas has been working at his job for over a week now and Austin will be starting his job as soon as his new boss gets her health in order.  They are both doing very well in their new classes....meaning that they haven't missed any with all of the partying they are doing!  Which to be totally honest with you is all I can ask at this point in time.

A couple of times when we have spoken, each of them have been doing some type of homework so that makes me feel good too.  But, I must say that most of the time that we talk they are doing some kind of enjoyable thing  and meeting all sorts of new people.  Like the roommate of one of the other boys from our little town of Bailey that is all the way from Hamburg Germany!  They tell me they're having a hard time remembering names-ha!

The changes at the ranch are still making slow but sure progression...I think that is my mental hold up here on the blog...and in my routine.  I am just not sure about this new life of mine-ha!  I am working very hard on PT for my back; but more importantly I am working on staying positive and keeping the vibes of the ranch good!  Tell me what all are you up to?  How do you stay positive during big changes in your life???

Royal Ranch Royalty: Shades of Change

 Shade

Well it is time to sit down in front of my computer and try to heal my broken heart with words.  See, I have been telling you Rebels about changes here at The Royal Ranch and they have all really started to hit me these last few weeks; thus my absence from this blog.  

We lost our beloved cat Shade a few weeks back and I knew it would be very symbolic of the times ahead.  Shade was our nurse and one of my best friends here at the ranch.  If any one was not feeling well, Shade was the first to let me know by laying by that animal or person and meowing insistently!  It was uncanny his ability to know that a spirit was not well before they actually showed symptoms outwardly.  I guess it was from his time living at the vet clinic for so many years; Shade had been a blood donor cat before he came to live at the Royal Ranch.

Which is how he became a character in my childrens book, Llucky Llama.  His name in the book is no other than Cuddly Cat of course.  Cuddly Cat is buried right next to Dedicated Dog; my first Great Pyrenees that was one of the greatest dogs I have ever owned in my entire life.  As a matter of fact, that spot has not been used since Marilyn (Dedicated Dog) passed.  Tom tried to bury another dog there one time and about got his head bit off by me-ha!  Sometimes there are just animals that are extraordinarily special in our lives and Shade and Marilyn were those type of animals.

As I said, I knew the winds of change were blowing; I just didn't know how hard.  That week I had gotten the news about my back.  I had gone back in because my back just isn't making progress.  It will be a year in October since my surgery and I have tried everything except chiropractic care.  And I do mean everything.  Walking, Pilates, stretching, yoga, acupuncture, etc., although it is all very good stuff it does not completely take away my pain.  I saw multiple docs in one week, one of them a specialist on the field who then sent me to another ultra-specialist who all agree; this is a lifelong issue.

The good news is is that the last specialist I saw did give me a shot in the spine that sent me into a horrific tizzy for about a week; and boy was it a painful tizzy, but I am better now.  So Rebels, please keep your fingers crossed that I can get these shots every three months for a little bit of pain relief!!!!  The timing was perfect because my back was feeling better just in time for me to deal with my next big change....

Which is losing my sons.  And to be perfectly honest, I suck at letting go.  I know that they are going to college and that they are doing the best thing for them, and that this is what is supposed to happen, but it still really hurts my heart.  I miss them sooo much it physically hurts sometimes.  And I know I'm not the only one out there; maybe I am the only willing to admit it, I don't know.

We took them to Gunnison, Co; the home of Western State College on Friday.  They will share a dorm room and will start classes on Monday.  Thomas already got a job and Austin has an interview today; so their lives are just going wonderfully!  My heart bursts with pride each and every time I get a text or a call or an email from one of them.  I really can't believe that my 2 sons are at college; to be honest I wasn't sure it could really happen.

These are two boys that come from homes that are not made of money.  As a matter of fact they are the first of both their families to ever have gone to college.  Thankfully, due to Austins legal circumstances (our adopting him) his schooling is entirely paid for with grants and loans (mostly grants-yeah!); but it really came down to the wire with our Bubby.  We have been selling things (anyone need a plow truck? ha!) and creative budgeting like no one's business.  I even swapped for some of his text books (review of book swapping sites to come in the following days, there are definite differences!).

Speaking of Austin's other home, that has been a constant source of stress this week also.  Since we have been a part of his life I have been very careful to include his other family and try to make one big happy family so that the boy does not feel as if he has to choose between the two.  I know that he loves his dad and his sisters and needs to keep contact with them; it is very important.  But this last week has just about killed me.  His Dad has let him down one too many times in my book.  As have the step mom and the sisters and the rest of them....I just couldn't take the hurt expression on my sons face any longer.  On the way up to Gunnison, I kept asking Tom what I could do to make up for the terrible week he had had, and all he kept saying is "Hon, you've got to let it go, you are already doing the best you can.  Just be who you are.  He knows how much WE love him."

I was telling my sister that I was so upset that Thursday, the last day I had with the boys had been such a stressful day because we had been running to Austins last dental appointments and needed to get their toiletries, etc.  And that at first I was wishing we had spent it differently, but when I looked back on it, I had been able to sneak in the fact that I had asked the dentist about cleft pallets and they are not related to fetal alcohol or drug abuse; a fact which Austin had grown up thinking and blaming his Mother for.  And when his Dad told him he wasn't coming home to say goodbye to his own son before he left for college; well I was there to buffer the blow and explain to Austin that it was because he just couldn't handle saying goodbye.

So, sometimes even a harried, stressful day can turn into one that is very meaningful to those we love.  That night when we got home, hours later than we had planned, our neighbors were waiting for us.  They were here gathered to say goodbye to our beloved boys.  They are the ones who truly love and respect these kids.  It's not always blood that makes a family.  We had my daughter's best friend and her Mom and sister.  The boys' best friend who is one year younger (poor kid getting left behind) and his family, who have truly become our dearest friends; and our beloved neighbors Dan and Judy over.  It was so perfect.

In the midst of all of this; I have been eluding to changes here at The Royal Ranch.  They have been a long time in the making I suppose, but it sort of came as a shock to me.  The biggest being that I have realized that I am probably not going to be doing pack jobs anymore.  There are times when my back is bad that I can't even make it up the stairs so it is a bit concerning to make a reservation for a pack trip up a mountain that is six miles one way.

Which really means that I have way too many llamas than I need.  And on top of it, I am losing my Great Pyr, Tia.  She has a cruciate tear that needs surgery that we cannot afford nor take care of after the surgery.  I am very blessed that the person who gave her to me is willing to take her back and pay for the surgery that I have arranged through a dear friend of mine and then care for her during her recovery stage....We will take it one day at a time after that.  The problem with caring for a dog that weighs more than I do, is that she will need to be physically moved, etc after her surgery.

So, I am slowly but surely placing my llamas, Tia will leave around the 13th of September, Paco my ram is going to Auction where he should pull a pretty good price and will not get eaten because Rams are yucky to eat and so I can finally feel comfortable taking an animal to auction and seeing how it all works.  I may replace the ram; the main reason he is going is because I would like to breed his daughter this year.  But the whole ghist of the ranch is changing a bit...

As a matter of fact, I had decided that I was going to do poultry.  That was until the neighbors dog killed one of my prize turkeys last week.  Yes, in the middle of my crazy week; I was in filling out paperwork with the boys which is how it happened because normally when the turks are out I have my eye on them at all times.  But this day, we were busy doing last minute stuff for the college, and I heard a ruckus and went out to find the dog eating my turkey.

Although they have offered to compensate me financially, it was very hard for me to determine a price on the first turkey.  First of all, the turkey was not harvested properly so I was unable to save the feathers which on these types of turkeys is a good portion of their value.  We, of course, were unable to save the meat after a dog had been eating it.  But what really bothered me the most was the waste of the whole thing.  I think you as Rebels know that I do not waste anything.

Let alone the amount of hard work and time and love that we all had put into these turkeys.  We knew that the turkeys were going to die; as a matter of fact we all were quite proud of the fact that these three were going to be the first animals that we actually planned on raising from the get go and eating.  Now we will not even be tasting our own hard work as the remaining two have already been sold to friends who have driven in our driveway, taken one look at those beautiful turkeys and asked if they were for sale.

So, my future business plans are as follows:  I am going to continue my writing; I think I may even finally have time to take that second childrens book out of my head and put it onto paper!  The ranch will continue to size down a bit, literally.  The llamas will find the right homes as they come along, and I will slowly grow my poultry/feather business as I feel it is safe.  The loss of my sons I guess I will get used to(?!?), but the loss of Shade....well, that was an indicator of times a changin' I'm afraid.

I would really love to hear from you Rebels.  Have you dealt with losing your children to college and if so what helped?  What about other losses and changes in your lives.....???

Twenty years and counting...

Yesterday was our twentieth wedding anniversary.  Two whole decades.  I really couldn't believe it; it actually had kind of snuck up on both of us what with all of the changes happening here at The Royal Ranch that I promised you I was going to write about.  And I still will write about those changes and the waves of havoc they have created for this family; changes like kids leaving for college and me finally realizing that my back issue is a disability and not a back issue.  There is a BIG difference when you own, live and love on a ranch; it makes your life decisions a lot more important.

But anyway, back to our twenty years together and how something so significant can sneak up on a person.  See, we have a tradition here at the ranch for birthdays for the kids; in the mornings when they get up I have printed out their names in big letters with descriptive words of them, usually with a pic of something their really into that year.  Yes, teachers I know there is a proper term for this I just can't think of it; help a Rebel out in the comment section here....Well, it seems this tradition stuck, because on our pillows last night we found this poem from our 15 year old who had pretended to have forgotten our anniversary:

Mom and Dad you are so great

even though sometimes its like I don't appreciate

you're always there through thick and thin

so we'll be happy to the end

T*he best dad

O*ver worker

M*r. with a loving family

J*ustifiably Crazy

U*unbelievably great

D*etermined to help even when not needed (we have all laughed ourselves senseless over this one!)

Y*our son loves you

Tom and I said this was the kindest most rewarding anniversary present either of us had ever gotten.

Right back at 'ya kid:

The Royal Ranch Visits Oklahoma

Wow!  Did we have a wild and woolly trip to Oklahoma!!!  Literally.  We started the trip off by heading to my in laws place in Matheson, CO where we spent the night and got to spend a little time with my wonderful BIL (Brother-In-Law) and niece.  My poor SIL had to work that night, but we did catch her sleeping on the ground hoping to catch a glimpse of her nephews and niece that were happily all sleeping in her bunkhouse.  They had all spent the night playing Wii and who knows what cousins do to all hours of the morning.  I just about burst out in tears when I saw my almost grown kids all cuddled up in blankets out in this barn style bunkhouse and their Aunt keeping watch over them by the fire outside, with the rooster crowing and the horses grazing in the background...

We left the kids in the very capable hands of the family for the day while Tom and I went to shear and pick up some llamas a couple of towns away in Peyton, CO.  We had such a wonderful time at the Rivera place...Really.  Here we were there to work, and work we did, but we made some wonderful friends as well.  We sheared seven llamas in no time flat thanks to their great hospitality, a fantastic chute (Tom and I have never worked with a chute before, interestingly most llama people will tell you you have to have one to work with llamas!) and the fact that they had so many helpers.

While we were there, we found out that Henry Rivera (sorry no link, contact me for his information) is a fantastic artist.  And here we had just been outside swapping sweat with the guy!  Ha!  The Rivera's treated us like Royalty; they teased us that they had gone to the website and knew that we were The Royal Ranch and must be treated as such.  Lunch was wonderful, the shearing was smooth as silk, excuse the pun, and the loading went as well as could be expected for ten wild llamas.

We headed back to the in-laws to get the kids and some much needed rest, we thought; and just when I drifted off to sleep my cell phone rang and it was the gentleman we were to meet in Oklahoma with the llamas.  He was on his way.  What????  Okay.  So we loaded up the kids, oh yes, we were blessed with all our of our children this trip, and headed for Oklahoma!

See, these llamas had been adopted by a family in Washington, OK.  We were to shear them and then transport them to Guymon, OK to meet the new owners halfway.  I guess they got a little excited and I miscommunicated, but it all worked out because I wanted the llamas to travel in the cool of the night anyway.  But, the problem with that is the storms.  And let me tell you about the storms.  I mean I thought we were in a tornado at one point in time, the lightning was crashing and hitting the fields right next to us.  We passed a cow that had been hit even.  It was crazy!  And then once it got dark and the storms were bad, all you could see was when the lightning struck it lit up everything for miles....and then back to pitch black and that howling wind!

Amazingly enough, two people coming from six hours apart, arrived in the same little sleepy town of Oklahoma within five minutes of each other.  And even better, the llamas were so tired and road weary and afraid of the storms that we had passed through (and thankfully avoided while we traded llamas), did not give us one bit of hassle.  We found a hotel with a pool for the kids and piled in.  Goodnight, ya'all.

Sunday the kids wanted to swim of course before we hit the road to who knew where (that's sort of how the Jeute's roll).  My fifteen year old son went to jump in the deep end and couldn't get his footing because the bottom was so slimey.  All righty then.  Think I'll just stay walking around to get my exercise in the shallow end, thank you very much.  Kids, please shower after this one...But we all were giving my husband a hard time because he just seems to attract the "locals", if you know what I mean; and can talk to just about anyone, including the guy who needed to wait for my kids to get out of the pool to shock it with four pounds of chlorine.

Or the guy on the side of the road in the middle of the night holding the road sign.  Tom had decided to pull forward and ask him how he liked his job and about the local economy and such.  Well, all we kept getting out of the guy was a "Yuup", and I'm thinking to myself, can we back up?  How long could this wait possibly be?  Ha!

So anyway, we leave Guymon, and again in Jeute fashion we really have no idea where we are going, but decide that we want to go home through New Mexico instead of the same route we had just come.  We see a black road on the map that looks pretty good and we take it...not looking at the legend of course.  Remember, these accidents often happen for good reasons.  I had all of my family trapped right there in the truck with me. And we were on a dirt road...I was in heaven!

We saw turkeys and deer and elk and the plants, oh I was absolutely enthralled with the plants.  We stopped at Black Mesa Nature Preserve where there was an entire ecosystem that you could just walk right up to!  Complete with fish and cattails and dragonflies,etc.  The petrified forest nature hike that we took was really cool, there were lizards for the kids to watch and all sorts of species of plants for me to guess at.

We made it to Raton, NM Sunday night and the kids gave Tom and I a hard time because of course we chose this little hillbilly looking motel across the street from the big name Hotel.  While Tom was inside the boys were in the back just complaining away saying that this place was redneck and going to suck and be small and not have wifi, etc.  Then we opened up the door to our huge room (with all amenities), and they both (the eighteen year olds) said the other place had nothing on this one-ha!  It had a nice clean pool too; and we even got a late check out so that we got to spend some time there on Monday!

It was a tad bit of a bummer that the restaurant that they suggested was no good, they took forever and I got sick.  Yeah, I got sick, and I never get food sick.  And the day we were traveling home too.  But it was quick and over, so I was pretty lucky. 

The ride home was uneventful, but I will say that we are heartsick for the parts of  the country that are experiencing drought.  The little bit that we saw was devastating.  I have been hearing about poultry houses that have lost thousands of birds due to heat stress and it makes me thankful every single day that my birds can free range to go where they need to go to adjust their own body temperatures.  And I am so blessed to have had the rain these past few weeks.  We drove past fields that were simply left because of drought...

So thank you America, for another wonderful vacation and the chance to spend time with my family. 

Chronic pain and The Spoon Theory

I read this "theory" a long time ago; it's been floating around the blogosphere a long time.  But it took me some time to apply it to my own life.  See I try and act like my life is perfectly fine all the time.  And then it all catches up with me and my daughter will sleep on the floor in my room and catch me crying in my sleep...

So, it doesn't take not having Lupus for this theory to apply.  Or any other label for that matter.  Many of us need to live spoon by spoon; and that needs to be okay with us and the ones that love us.  And here is my spoon to you, dear Rebels, because you mean a lot to me! 

A powerful song with a powerful message

Don't throw away that old garden hose!

While in the process of finding and then getting my camera to cooperate, I thought I would do a quick post on how absolutely brilliant I am.  Oh wait, I thought this post was about soaker hoses.  That's right.  See, this has some background to it, because the men in the family said I couldn't do it...So I, of course had to try all that much harder-ha!

For some reason this has been the year that a few of our hoses have decided it is their time to go.  Take for instance this last hose.  I was trying to water my new garden and was wondering what was wrong with the water pressure, when oh my, I turned around and my hose looked like Popeye!  I didn't even want to get near the thing in fear of it exploding!  Well, Tom had already insisted that one just like this was junk so I quietly set it aside until all the men were gone....

That is when the real fun began.  My daughter and I got up early one morning and got a nail and a hammer and we went to town on that hose.  I mean we just put holes in it everywhere, it was really a pretty cool project because there is no right or wrong about it.  I then just hooked it up to the water and watched it go.

By this time the boys were up, so I had to do my happy dance....Too bad Tom wasn't here to see it, but believe you me, he heard ALL about it-ha!  And we all got to be in on the fun of making little adjustments to the dripper system while it was running and add a few holes here and there and get sprayed in the face when we removed the nail.  We had a ball.

PS:  When I went online to look for pics I remembered that I needed to tell you that I had a sprayer nozzle that I used to cap the end of my hose, but I do intend to get some sort of more permanent cap.  When time and money permit....get things as you can is my motto, and make do with what you have.

Rebels, You've only just begun....

 Photo courtesy of Northside Living

As I was doing a bit of "catch up" reading around the blogoshpere this morning, I happened along a song that really fits my life right now; what with the boys going off to college, a bit of a Spiritual/physical shake-up going on in my personal life, etc.  The timing was great.  Sorry folks, they wouldn't let me embed, but it is definitely worth the click on this link.

And have a wonderful, safe and food filled holiday; try to make it a recycled one.  We are making a recycled garden...more on that next week when I can find a camera.  What are your plans?