An American Tragedy

     Every day at 5:30 am my favorite radio station plays our National Anthem; normally I look forward to this and if I have a hat on, I proudly toss it off and place my hand over my heart (even if I am driving) and belt it out!  And I am sure whenever the Pledge of Allegiance is said, my voice can be heard ringing out clearly above the rest; that was until yesterday, and ironically I had to lead both of them in one day.  Yesterday, I slowly took off my hat, and I sang, but more with a dutiful song in my heart; my daughter was with me, we must teach them respect.  And when I led the Pledge of Allegiance at my meeting in the afternoon, my voice was the same as the others; I just didn’t have it in me.

      This is a very difficult story to share because it is so very personal, but if it were to help another family or two from making the same mistakes, no decisions that we made then this is a well worth it piece.  Where do I start?  With the loss of 1/3 of our income?  Maybe I should start with a real bang and try and explain those pesky medical bills, you know the almost $30,000 worth (even though we are considered well insured)?!?  The loss of our home?  No, to be honest I want to start with my family, because that is what really matters to me…bottom line.

      Well, if you haven’t met me, my name is Judy Jeute.  Up until last week, I was probably the most proud American you could meet.  My husband Tom (who is a machinist by trade, biker by choice) makes parts that go up into space (!) and for all sorts of medical parts; all of which are proudly stamped with Made In USA.  Together we have so very proudly raised the most amazing family; we now have two sons in college, a sophomore in high school and a sixth grader!  And I truly don’t mean to brag, but everyone tells me that they are the most respectful kids you’ll ever meet.  :)

       I’m really not sure what came first, my back going bad or the loss of income, it really all seems somewhat of a blur now; but in 2008 I started feeling hip pain.  It took my organized health care company two years to find a severely ruptured and herniated thoracic disc.  In October of 2010 I had to have emergency surgery after I had to write a letter to said organized health care because my doctor was literally joking and betting my husband a "nickel“ about the size my disc would be in the MRI he incorrectly ordered.  I now have permanent and severe nerve pain, but I am blessed to be able to walk.

      The loss of income is the same old American story, I’m afraid.  The bottom fell out of the economy and then our President decided to not support our space program which directly affected any company sending parts into space (!).  But I had also been working on building our small businesses; building our dreams.  We have been living on our little ranch here on the mountain and sharing our passion for it with the rest of the world.  That is really hard to do with a broken back…but I am the type of gal to roll with the punches, so I kept our website up.  Hoping that someday I would get better, and not only that, but I am always changing my business plan to adjust to my life changes.

       The first time we almost lost our home it was because of the HAMP program.  We had a heck of a time getting on that darn program in the first place, but I did it; all the while fighting for my life practically with an organized health system that would not listen to me.  Anyway, we finally got accepted into the program, did all of our trial payments and then less than a week before our first permanent payment was due they told us that our payment would be raised more than $450.  I don’t know many families of six that have a spare $450 in a week’s notice and we started off on the bad foot, and it all went downhill from there.  We ended up paying over $10,000 to pull it out of foreclosure.

       Right away we started getting calls from our mortgage company (Wells Fargo) that they could help us with a lower payment and a new in-house modification.  Although I was suspicious, we proceeded, thinking what could it hurt?  I got really concerned in December when our Home Preservation Specialist told us not to make a payment as it would “skew” her numbers.  In January we were told we had a good deal going and were even given preliminary terms, although they were terrible; they would have us automatically upside down in our home, we had dreams so it didn’t really matter.  We were told we would hear back by the 27^th of January.

       On the 31^st I was on the phone with a really nice representative from our second mortgage, which also happens to be Wells Fargo because it was one of those fancy deals where they “roll part of our mortgage into a second” thing…  Anyway I decided to tell this nice lady my concerns; like how Tom and I had each been leaving multiple messages and not hearing back and that we had been told not to make payments and that now I was afraid we were in a position of foreclosure again.  This wonderful gal finally got through to someone who just coldly told me that indeed our home is lost.  We have been denied our modification and we are in foreclosure.

                The sad thing is how we were denied.  They used my own hard working drive against me; the fact that I kept my website up and intend to not take this back injury lying down and want to still be a contributing member of society.  When we told them Tom had lost his overtime due to the bad economy, they saw that he gets 2.5 hours each week opening up the shop (on each and every paycheck that we sent, probably 12-14+) because he is the foreman, they took that out of the equation because it is not “reliable income”.  But what really concerns me is the dates of everything; our house was being taken back much faster than this modification process was working.  If we are lucky it looks like we have four months left in a home that we brought our youngest home to.

Which brings me back to my spectacular family; we actually only started out as five.  We officially grew to six when we adopted our oldest son’s best friend due to a tricky family situation.  His father wouldn’t fill out the paperwork to send him to college and we needed to get his cleft pallet fixed before adulthood or there is no fixing it at all.  We thank our lucky stars each and every day that he accepted us as his family; he is an amazing kid and will make us very proud parents when he graduates alongside our other son at college in 3 ½ years.

But our three boys are active; and alongside my multiple MRI’s, surgery, etc. for my back injury (that we never will find out exactly what injured it, I have severe Degenerative Disc Disease as well which may have caused it along with ranching and the good/hard life) we have had broken bones, head injuries and concussions.  All of which really add up when a family is called co-insured; with very high deductibles, co-pays, etc. but even higher premiums for both us and Tom’s employer.  It adds up to almost thirty grand of debt.

When I applied for Social Security Disability like my doctor encouraged me to do, to try and help out with some of these crazy bills they called me before they even had all of my documentation and literally laughed.  Laughed because I had been self-employed for all of those years before this happened, I was not entitled to any government income.  I went for help at our local resource center; if you have ONE child and an income under $75,000 you are considered in the high-risk category; but somehow with Tom’s income we simply didn’t match the criteria for one assistance program.  It was so very kind of that resource center to pay one of our heating bills with their own local money; a one-time deal.

I am not concerned about my family; we are a strong, well bonded unit that can withstand any storm that is tossed our way.  As I said, we have a plan and we have dreams; although as I write this I am totally shell shocked and in mourning for a home that is so full of memories and the markings of a family being raised; but the memories we will carry with us.  In a few days we will recover, strap on our boots and begin to pack up a lifetime.

My concern is for our country.  This, my proud family of six and the situation we are in, is a prime example of bank bailouts and organized health care.  But, we are one family in hundreds of thousands that this is happening to; and I for one think that is criminal.  As I said, this was a difficult story to share, but one worth getting out there if it will stop one more family from losing their home.  So where do we go from here?  Stay tuned.  I intend to talk more in the upcoming posts about the hows and whys of why I believe this was due to bank bailouts and why I believe that organized health care is a terrible idea.  I also will give some specific examples and tips as we go through the foreclosure process.  Again, if it can help another family, I am all for it.

Judy Jeute

Clearing out the house!

Good morning Rebels!  It feels like a Monday to me and you all are already half way through your week.  I have had sick family members home all week and have not been all that well myself, so today I will spend the day clearing out the house just as the title says... WHEW!!!

It actually started last Thursday with my epidural.  To be honest I really wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary; I have had this done once before and it wasn't extraordinarily painful when I got the injection, but it was pretty wicked that first week.  So I tried to plan accordingly and you know, have myself somewhat prepared to be down for a bit.  What I was not prepared for was the horrific pain of the epidural itself. 

I am telling myself, and truly believing that the reason that this one was so much more painful than the first is because we had a bit more information this time and were really able to "zone in on" the exact targeted areas.  So I am going to be up and running in no time flat!  But what I will say is that this injection, for just a few seconds was worse than any labor pain or any other type of pain I could imagine, so if you are to have this type of thing, be prepared for that and maybe give yourself more than the 15 minutes of rest that they offer you.  When I got in the truck I did sit for a few more minutes just to catch my breath for the long drive up the mountain.

So I rested over the weekend like I was told to do and then all hell broke loose with that darn wind storm I told you about...not only did it blow down all the old trees but it blew in some nasty bug, let me tell you.  Tom, myself and my daughter all got hit with some sort of a flu bug and each of us got hit where we were the weakest.  Tom in the stomach, Bella in the chest and stomach and me in the tummy; and I say it that way because luckily mine was a lot less intense because I was still dealing with recovering-GEEZ!!!!

On Monday we took our daughter to the doctor.  And when I say we, that is something major because I can't even tell you the last time my husband took time off of work!  But, anyway, the three of us, sick as dogs, load up in the truck and head for our friendly Evergreen Kaiser.  Where they proceed to assuage my panic attack that my girl is not having asthma she is simply suffering from "flu like symptoms".  I will not share with you all the words we had to say about that diagnosis.  Awesome, is the nicest, and the most sarcastic.

Yesterday afternoon we (again, note the importance that The Big Bad Biker is still home, WHOA this is one nasty illness) started feeling a bit better and Tom filled the water troughs while I finally got some housework done around the pig sty, er I mean the house.  Yes, just enough that today hopefully I can get a little down and dirty with some citrus and de-germ this place so that the last healthy Jeute that lives here doesn't end up with "flu like symptoms".  Wonderful.

Oh, and by the way, I am no longer cross posting between here and The Double J Ranch (I reserve the right to do so if something is interesting to both blogs, or something I want to keep in my "journal" lol).  As I mentioned in my first post over thar' at the new blog, I really want that to just be a Journal for me and my family.  So, if you Rebels want to keep up on both you have to "Follow" both.  There are multiple ways to sign up on both blogs; you can sign up for me to just pop-in to your e-mail box each time I post (upper left corner of each blog) or you can click on any of the follow buttons too.  Either way your privacy is always protected with me, of course!

Have a great day!
JJ~

Chronic pain and The Spoon Theory

I read this "theory" a long time ago; it's been floating around the blogosphere a long time.  But it took me some time to apply it to my own life.  See I try and act like my life is perfectly fine all the time.  And then it all catches up with me and my daughter will sleep on the floor in my room and catch me crying in my sleep...

So, it doesn't take not having Lupus for this theory to apply.  Or any other label for that matter.  Many of us need to live spoon by spoon; and that needs to be okay with us and the ones that love us.  And here is my spoon to you, dear Rebels, because you mean a lot to me! 

A TENS Warning....with a reminder to take help when it's offered!

I want to start today's post out with the biggest thank you I can possibly give to my parents.  Something really scary could have happened to me the other day, and they jumped right in and pulled me out of my boiling pot of water, without even thinking twice or saying a word.  Which is of course what parents love to do, but I didn't even realize I was in a boiling pot, so they're quick thinking was what I really needed.

Monday was my first physical therapy appointment and I was looking so forward to it!  Finally something proactive I could be doing for this darn back recovery.  I had met my parents and some out of town guests for breakfast; and these weren't just any out of town guests.  They were family from Iowa, and you, my long time readers know how much my family from Iowa mean to me.

We had a wonderful time, they even gave me a more than generous birthday gift, and I headed off happily to my PT appointment.  All was going well until she put the TENS unit on me.  She had asked me if I wanted it, I asked what it was, and she said it was for pain management.  At this point in time, I will do anything to lower the amount of Advil and pain meds I am taking, so I was happy to try it.  When she rolled the machine in, I commented that it looked like an ultrasound machine and she said that it did that too.

I must say, I didn't even think twice when she asked me if I had a pacemaker.  You must remember, this is through my regular medical system, she had my entire medical chart.  So, she turns on the machine and starts turning up the dials and asking me if I can feel anything.  That is when it hit me, this was electric shock therapy, and I was starting to slur my words...I was in big trouble and was going into a seizure.

Thankfully, I was able to tell her that I had a seizure disorder, and I could hear her tripping over the rolling stool as she was yanking the node things off my back and trying to get at the machine to shut it off.  She is a great physical therapist but was not at all prepared for a medical emergency like we were facing and was horribly upset that she had made such a mistake.  I, of course, was terribly embarrassed, which I am assuming is a typical response because I really can't figure out I was embarrassed about and just kept reassuring her I was fine, but to give me a few minutes.

Well, as quickly as I could I got the hell out of there, again a very uncomfortable situation all the way around, and called my Mom and my husband to tell them what had happened.  The unanimous decision was that I definitely should not be driving my truck the hour home, I could kill myself or anyone else for that matter.  As stubborn as I am, I resisted for quite some time.  As you all have gathered by now, I am a bit of a rebel-ha!

Well, my Mom called back and said that Dad didn't want me to drive (we don't argue with Dad-ha!) and they were on their way to meet me.  That was that.  Pull over Judy.  I called Tom so that he could quit worrying, and that is when he asked me about my breakfast with Jeanne and Bill...and I realized that my memory of the day was to say the least...sketchy.  Good thing me and my big truck were no longer doing 65 miles an hour down the road, I guess.

The wonder of it all, was that my Mom had been with me for the time that I lost.  So not only were my parents getting me and my truck safely home, but on the way there Mom was able to fill me in on all of the missing time.  And for some reason I can make it through typing this whole post, but when I get to the words "missing time", the tears start clouding my vision.  As a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a great niece....that is the part that makes me furious...and cry.

But, anywho, this post was also to talk a little about the Tens unit.  And I'm not even going to do any research on it, I'm sure it's quite easy to google on your own, if you so wish.  But, my brain, says NO THANK YOU.  So, folks, I'll make it real simple, in my opinion, if you have any brain dysfunction like epilepsy or have had seizures, do not mess with this machine when you go for physical therapy.  I was wondering if it might not have been so bad if my surgery had been on maybe my knee or my ankle; but Tom has a friend at work who has epilepsy also and goes to the same Crappy Clinic (ad lib, that is not it's official title) I do, and the same thing happened on his knee!  So, there you have it, my very unscientific results-ha!

The nuts and bolts of Thoracic back surgery (at least mine)

Well, as you The Rebels know, I have been having back issues for years now.  But if you are new to the story, let me give you a quick rundown of the story.  Almost three years ago now, I started having hip pain, yes hip pain.  I am a very active rancher, hiker, kid chaser, etc., so I let it go for a while, then the doctors let it go for a while, until finally late last year it was diagnosed as a herniated/ruptured thoracic disc.

I have said it before, and I'll probably say it again, this is very unusual.  Your thoracic (middle) region of your spine is the least mobile part of your body, so it very rarely gets injured.  Leave it to me to come up with a stumper!  So the first doctors assume it will resolve itself like herniated discs normally do, and since it is so near the spinal cord do not want to mess with it; I agree.

I go through the summer cleaning fire pits, and running my ranch thinking I am being a pansy since this stupid back thing is still bothering me.  I finally get bad enough to go back to the damn doctor, taking my husband in hopes that the doctor will finally tell him how very tough his wife actually is, and do you know what happened?  That doctor told me that my back was perfectly fine, he even bet my husband a nickel that the MRI would show that my disc was back to normal size and that this was all just a "little flare-up".

Well, he was very, very wrong.  Actually, my disc herniation was worse, my spinal cord was pushed so far out of the way, that it actually changed the way they were able to do the surgery on me!  So, in that instance it was good, I guess.  Normally, thoracic surgeries are done through the chest to avoid damage to the all important spinal cord, blessedly, as you can see from the pic they went in through the back on me.

The following is an excerpt from WebMD about the type of surgery that they did on me: 

Discectomy (also called open discectomy) is the surgical removal of herniated disc material that presses on a nerve root or the spinal cord. Before the disc material is removed, a small piece of bone (the lamina) from the affected vertebra may be removed. This is called a laminotomy or laminectomy and allows the surgeon to better see and access the area of disc herniation.

The only problem was that they were hoping to do only the discecotomy with very little laminectomy, and it turned out to be the other way around.  They had to take quite a bit of bone, and some of the disc had calcified, so they left it, but it sounded like he thought it was a great success, so I am quite thankful for that.  I often wonder if they would really tell you that a surgery like this was not a great success, but that is just me being a total cynic, because I do already feel differently than when there was all that pressure on my spinal cord.

So, now it is just a matter of waiting and resting and letting the swelling go down.  And hoping and praying that my spinal cord goes back into its proper position when all the dust settles, so to speak!  I get my staples (actually, now that a few more days have gone by, I think I might only have stitches!) removed at two weeks, with a doctor follow-up at four weeks; that's about all I know for now! (This must have been on Wed., now it is Sunday and my daughter is one year older, boo hoo!  Her 11th birthday was yesterday.)

Well, as you all have probably guessed, this has been sitting in my drafts folder for a while so I will give you some more to chew on before I publish.  I kept trying to figure out why I was being so slow in hitting the publish button when I realized the scar is ugly.  Well, of course it's ugly, I've been through some nasty stuff...even the skin that just had to be bandaged for two days is crying out for my friend Tiffany's cream.  I can't wait until I get the all clear to use it!

But what has really been bothering me I guess is that the Dr. told me that I have degenerative disc disease and that is what caused this problem, not my car accident when I was a teen.  First and foremost, it is not another disease I have to deal with like my epilepsy.  It just means that I have a really crappy spine I guess and I'm just going to have to be careful.  But can you imagine how sick I am of having to be careful of stuff?

So, with that, and the fact that I almost just cried, I would like to leave you all with some things that I know have gotten a lot better since my surgery.  And you know what is really funny?  These are things that the doctors kept telling me couldn't be related to my spinal injury, I think their story is a little different now that they got in there and saw the damage though.  Anywho, back to my improvements...I no longer have a "fog" around my vision, the heaviness and weird stuff going on in my arms is practically gone, my headaches are finito; okay 95%.  So far so good with the bladder issues, but that was with activity, so I am reserving judgment on that til I get back on my feet a little better; this will be the biggy and the one the doctors will tell if they call it a success or not.

The main point I have to keep reminding myself of, and a call from my Aunt who is a nurse was a great reminder, is that it will take six weeks minimum for all of the swelling to go down and that cord to go back into place.  I will learn more in the meantime about degenerative disc disease (notice I won't even capitalize it!), which I really have got to come up with a better name for, and then I'll be ready to hit it head on like I always do.  I've always taken good care of my spine with my Yoga and stuff, now I will just have to be even more vigilant!

Back surgery sucks...

(thanks clipart, beautiful!)

Helloooo!  I'm back!  Well, I can't guarantee that I am back on a daily basis because my computer is too damn heavy, actually everything is too damn heavy, but at least I am here to check in-hooray!  I was really wishing that I had done an update before Sunday, because I was really great.  Sunday and yesterday, not so much, downright crappy I would even venture to say, but that is to be expected because the steroids and meds they give you during surgery wear off anywhere from day 3-5 and that is when it hit me.

As for a weight limit of five pounds, well, that is downright laughable.  I don't think there is anything on this ranch that weighs five pounds.  I do have one cat that is under that weight, but as soon as I sit down with a blanket I am covered with cats anyway, so I'm covered on that point.  Did you know that a gallon of milk weighs 8 lbs?  And yes, even my laptop weighs quite a bit more than 5 lbs., as a matter of fact it will even be heavier than the ten pound limit I will hopefully get to jump up to at my four week mark.  Do I hear a woot woot?!?

So, I have to share a couple of funny stories with you all.  This surgery really had Tom and I in a dither, I mean we were both scared to death about this one.  Tom was worried that I was going to come out paralyzed and I was afraid of dying.  We both know that over the years my vibes are something that we really should listen to, so it was hard for us to figure out if I was having just fear or some kind of vibe about doing this surgery.  So anyway, we both had pretty much gotten past our fears and surgery day was finally here, no more dreading it!

As you know the patient is not allowed to have anything of value, no purse or jewelry, nothing.  So Tom is in charge of everything, which he somewhat has been anyway since I have been so spacey.  Well, anyway, we have to check in at Security with both our ID's, no problem.  Then Tom checks me in at the computer and heads to the restroom...meanwhile they call my name and I head over to Admissions and tell them that my husband has all my cards; which he immediately starts digging for when he gets back from the restroom.  After accusing me, who had no pockets or anything, of having them, a nice lady behind the counter brings them to us!  He had left my drivers license and my Kaiser card at the main computer of the hospital!  I teased him that next time he should just leave them the debit card too!

Off we head to surgery, and there they take my beloved husband away.  And I don't mean for just a couple of minutes.  I mean for the entire pre-op time; oh and the post-op time too.  It really sucked, I must say.  I know it is an older hospital, and very crowded, and they are trying to keep germs down, and blah blah.  But I wanted my damn husband!  He got to come in for just a few minutes to say goodbye and then he had to wait to see me until I got to my room, boo hoo!

So have I mentioned that we are not city folk, let alone hospital folk?  Needless to say, I got zilcho sleep, mostly due to the noise, and thanks to my very low blood pressure (which I explained again and again is perfectly normal for me, but they still insisted on flushing me with those fluids so I could make those painful trips to the RR) they had long since taken me off the good drugs and I was back to plain old oral pain meds.  Which of course I was due for at just the time everyone got all ready for me to go..."sweet mother there must be a God in Heaven to get me into that truck and over those bumpy city streets while that stupid oral pain medication takes affect!!!!!" was all I could think, honestly.

Well, there must have been, because I made it home in one piece.  As for Tom, I'm not so sure.  He told me that as he was carrying all that "shit" (his words, not mine, because it was partially a spectacular bouquet of flowers from my family that is now my center piece), he was in the very middle of the intersection when the checkbook fell out of his back pocket.  It of course was full of all of the cards that all of the therapists had just given him that morning and they all flew everywhere!  So, my totally together, never loses anything biker husband had to set down his beautiful flowers and my briefcase and bag of clothes to retrieve his stuff while traffic piled up, oh I wish I had been there!

It was wonderful having Tom off last week, but the time flew by way too quickly.  I wasn't sure I was going to make it back from the bus stop yesterday morning, and saw my very first Bald Eagle in this area.  It was so cool, it stayed in the valley and just swooped from one tree to another doing a little fishing in between, the whole time I shuffled my way home...it made the trip much easier, I was home before I even realized it!

Speaking of wonderful...the messages and notes and meals we have gotten are fantastic!  We have the most wonderful family, friends and neighbors a family could ask for, that is for sure.  We are eating like Kings and Queens!

So that is about all for now, maybe tomorrow I'll get into the nuts and bolt of what they found in my back...quite interesting for sure.  Oh and I'm going to have the family take a picture of my battle wound so I hope no one is offended by that kind of thing, because I'm pretty proud of it!  Tom calls me Frankenstein when he sees it, how loving of him-ha!

See you soon with a little bit of Metaphysical Monday mixed in...

So I have waited so long to do this post, that now it got awkward, and it certainly shouldn't be.  I have to have back surgery.  Tomorrow.  I have written and re-written this post about a thousand times, honest, you should see my drafts folder right now, it's a mess!  But for some strange reason, this has been the hardest post I have ever written in my life.

The timing with my Kundalini training is uncanny.  Well, if you are like me, you don't believe in coincidences so I'm pretty sure this all came into my life at this time for a reason.  So, it has been a weird week for me, I must say.  I'm not sure that I would typically advise a person to be learning anything new spiritually when you are dealing with something so monumental health wise; but on the other hand, when have I done anything in a typical fashion?  Although it has been quiet here on the blog front, I have been doing some writing, that someday I will have the nerve to share...And as I said, I really don't feel as if I had much choice in this matter, this all has been handed to me (a person can only be hit over the head with so many signs...), my job is just to take it in and deal with it how I see fit.

But for now it is safer to stick to the facts.  Tomorrow at 2:30 I'm scheduled (I keep saying it that way like I'm going to get some sort of Presidential Pardon or something-ha!) for a rather rare back surgery.  The good news is that my body has already done the tricky part, and has moved my spinal cord out of the way!  See, normally with a Thoracic injury they would have to go in through my chest to avoid injuring the spinal cord, but since my disc is so badly herniated and has already moved the cord out of the way for them, they can go in through my back at the opposite angle and repair it that way-hoorah!!!

Tom asked the surgeon how many people he's crippled and he put up a hand signal for zero, but then we later laughed and wondered if he really meant the last three fingers he was holding up, since he didn't really answer us-ha!  It's amazing how paranoid you get when they're working on your spinal cord/column. But I do feel we are in great hands, and I'm expected to be out of the hospital by Wednesday, again, but this time in all caps-HOORAH!!!!!

Anwho, thank you all, neighbors and friends and family, for all your kind wishes; I even got a call from our retired neighbors who were leaving town.  They were on speaker phone, which sounded like quite a feat for them, and they both were wishing me good luck.  Although I could hear the concern in their voice (the gentleman was against the surgery all along, old school German-ha!), they said they can't wait to see me dancing around the neighborhood again.  I had to bust out laughing even though it hurts to laugh!

So, I will teach Tom a thing or two about The Royal Ranch Facebook page and have him or my oldest keep it a little bit updated.  And until next time, know that I love and appreciate you all very much, and this is one of the best jobs ever!

Thoracic Spine Injuries

I would like to make it very clear that I am writing this from the view point of the patient, and that I am by no means an expert on this.  But on the other hand, I may be exactly the person you want to talk to if you think you might have a spinal injury, especially one located in your thoracic region, or middle back, which is quite uncommon.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how I injured mine, after doing some research the past few days, I am wondering if I have had this problem since a  serious car accident in my teens.  I'll get back to that in a few minutes, but I think I'll catch you up on the last few days first.

Last weekend I stood too long at a neighbors birthday party, which to any other person would be no big deal.  The next day I woke up with my bladder leaking, and yes I know that is TMI, but without that information you won't understand why I thought this was a big deal, so bear with me.  This is what happened when my disc had herniated and ruptured in January, so I knew I needed to get to the doc on Monday, which is what I did. 

She told me that I could avoid a trip to the ER (Tom and I laughed at that one, we wouldn't have gone anyway), but that my Neurosurgeon would be calling me the next day.  They did, and they said I needed to be seen (you know, a mere 1.5 hours one way, away) on Thursday.  Although I am barely able to drive at this point, I get down there, Tom takes time off work to go with me, and the guy acts as if I had popped by for tea!  He pats me on the back and thanked me for coming to see him.  That was after I waited for 45 minutes and paid $50!

So are thoracic problems an emergency?  Well, thank God, apparently mine isn't.  And if it isn't an emergency, then by God, you're on your own, Baby.  Which, this morning, I feel better about, yesterday, don't ask.

Now, back up a day or two to my research.  Yes, I know a person has to be careful when doing any sort of medical research on the web.  As a matter of fact, that is why I have avoided doing so until the last few days mostly.  I really have not even considered surgery until this week, but I am getting desperate, I must tell you.  So I started looking for symptoms of T11/T12 disc herniation, and I only read articles from universities or medical jargon that I could only understand every other word-ha!  And then I moved on to surgery, etc, but my point is, I did so rather tentatively.

Anyway, I found some very interesting things that led me to believe that I have had this problem even longer than I thought.  I have written before that this was hard to diagnose because it presented as hip pain, and now I have been reading that it often presents as abdominal and chest pain, gall bladder, etc.  The more I read, it was like a who's who list of the exploratory surgeries I've had over the years, all after a rollover accident on a curvy mountain road more than twenty years ago. 

Again, this is just a theory, and it doesn't really matter now how the spine got injured, because it happened.  But on the way home from the Dr. the other night, I was really frustrated that I have all this crazy shit (sorry Mom, there is just no other way to describe it!)  happen to me, (less than 2% of disc herniations are in the thoracic region, for example), and even if it sounds weird, it makes me feel better if only one thing is the cause of all that crazy shit.

It makes me feel like there is hope to attack this darn thing and take care of "business".  So that I won't have any more crazy "business" going on.  Now, what is my plan?  Walking, and abdominal muscles, for sure.  

It's funny, I wrote the bulk of this post yesterday.  But I don't want to come off sounding like a whiner, so I sat on it; the only reason I post about these things is in hopes it might help someone else in the same boat.  So, I considered talking about my symptoms, and maybe even sharing the letter I sent to the doc who was sort of a jerk, because that might help anyone who has dealt with a butthead doctor.  I suppose I could have a healing series...

Well, at least Google knows I'm out there, and the next time I go to search for Thoracic Spine Injuries, hopefully this post will show up, and it just might help another person who is going down the same road, and hopefully that person will see my e-mail and feel free to contact me with any questions, because believe me, I know how crazy you're feeling right now!