An American Tragedy

     Every day at 5:30 am my favorite radio station plays our National Anthem; normally I look forward to this and if I have a hat on, I proudly toss it off and place my hand over my heart (even if I am driving) and belt it out!  And I am sure whenever the Pledge of Allegiance is said, my voice can be heard ringing out clearly above the rest; that was until yesterday, and ironically I had to lead both of them in one day.  Yesterday, I slowly took off my hat, and I sang, but more with a dutiful song in my heart; my daughter was with me, we must teach them respect.  And when I led the Pledge of Allegiance at my meeting in the afternoon, my voice was the same as the others; I just didn’t have it in me.

      This is a very difficult story to share because it is so very personal, but if it were to help another family or two from making the same mistakes, no decisions that we made then this is a well worth it piece.  Where do I start?  With the loss of 1/3 of our income?  Maybe I should start with a real bang and try and explain those pesky medical bills, you know the almost $30,000 worth (even though we are considered well insured)?!?  The loss of our home?  No, to be honest I want to start with my family, because that is what really matters to me…bottom line.

      Well, if you haven’t met me, my name is Judy Jeute.  Up until last week, I was probably the most proud American you could meet.  My husband Tom (who is a machinist by trade, biker by choice) makes parts that go up into space (!) and for all sorts of medical parts; all of which are proudly stamped with Made In USA.  Together we have so very proudly raised the most amazing family; we now have two sons in college, a sophomore in high school and a sixth grader!  And I truly don’t mean to brag, but everyone tells me that they are the most respectful kids you’ll ever meet.  :)

       I’m really not sure what came first, my back going bad or the loss of income, it really all seems somewhat of a blur now; but in 2008 I started feeling hip pain.  It took my organized health care company two years to find a severely ruptured and herniated thoracic disc.  In October of 2010 I had to have emergency surgery after I had to write a letter to said organized health care because my doctor was literally joking and betting my husband a "nickel“ about the size my disc would be in the MRI he incorrectly ordered.  I now have permanent and severe nerve pain, but I am blessed to be able to walk.

      The loss of income is the same old American story, I’m afraid.  The bottom fell out of the economy and then our President decided to not support our space program which directly affected any company sending parts into space (!).  But I had also been working on building our small businesses; building our dreams.  We have been living on our little ranch here on the mountain and sharing our passion for it with the rest of the world.  That is really hard to do with a broken back…but I am the type of gal to roll with the punches, so I kept our website up.  Hoping that someday I would get better, and not only that, but I am always changing my business plan to adjust to my life changes.

       The first time we almost lost our home it was because of the HAMP program.  We had a heck of a time getting on that darn program in the first place, but I did it; all the while fighting for my life practically with an organized health system that would not listen to me.  Anyway, we finally got accepted into the program, did all of our trial payments and then less than a week before our first permanent payment was due they told us that our payment would be raised more than $450.  I don’t know many families of six that have a spare $450 in a week’s notice and we started off on the bad foot, and it all went downhill from there.  We ended up paying over $10,000 to pull it out of foreclosure.

       Right away we started getting calls from our mortgage company (Wells Fargo) that they could help us with a lower payment and a new in-house modification.  Although I was suspicious, we proceeded, thinking what could it hurt?  I got really concerned in December when our Home Preservation Specialist told us not to make a payment as it would “skew” her numbers.  In January we were told we had a good deal going and were even given preliminary terms, although they were terrible; they would have us automatically upside down in our home, we had dreams so it didn’t really matter.  We were told we would hear back by the 27^th of January.

       On the 31^st I was on the phone with a really nice representative from our second mortgage, which also happens to be Wells Fargo because it was one of those fancy deals where they “roll part of our mortgage into a second” thing…  Anyway I decided to tell this nice lady my concerns; like how Tom and I had each been leaving multiple messages and not hearing back and that we had been told not to make payments and that now I was afraid we were in a position of foreclosure again.  This wonderful gal finally got through to someone who just coldly told me that indeed our home is lost.  We have been denied our modification and we are in foreclosure.

                The sad thing is how we were denied.  They used my own hard working drive against me; the fact that I kept my website up and intend to not take this back injury lying down and want to still be a contributing member of society.  When we told them Tom had lost his overtime due to the bad economy, they saw that he gets 2.5 hours each week opening up the shop (on each and every paycheck that we sent, probably 12-14+) because he is the foreman, they took that out of the equation because it is not “reliable income”.  But what really concerns me is the dates of everything; our house was being taken back much faster than this modification process was working.  If we are lucky it looks like we have four months left in a home that we brought our youngest home to.

Which brings me back to my spectacular family; we actually only started out as five.  We officially grew to six when we adopted our oldest son’s best friend due to a tricky family situation.  His father wouldn’t fill out the paperwork to send him to college and we needed to get his cleft pallet fixed before adulthood or there is no fixing it at all.  We thank our lucky stars each and every day that he accepted us as his family; he is an amazing kid and will make us very proud parents when he graduates alongside our other son at college in 3 ½ years.

But our three boys are active; and alongside my multiple MRI’s, surgery, etc. for my back injury (that we never will find out exactly what injured it, I have severe Degenerative Disc Disease as well which may have caused it along with ranching and the good/hard life) we have had broken bones, head injuries and concussions.  All of which really add up when a family is called co-insured; with very high deductibles, co-pays, etc. but even higher premiums for both us and Tom’s employer.  It adds up to almost thirty grand of debt.

When I applied for Social Security Disability like my doctor encouraged me to do, to try and help out with some of these crazy bills they called me before they even had all of my documentation and literally laughed.  Laughed because I had been self-employed for all of those years before this happened, I was not entitled to any government income.  I went for help at our local resource center; if you have ONE child and an income under $75,000 you are considered in the high-risk category; but somehow with Tom’s income we simply didn’t match the criteria for one assistance program.  It was so very kind of that resource center to pay one of our heating bills with their own local money; a one-time deal.

I am not concerned about my family; we are a strong, well bonded unit that can withstand any storm that is tossed our way.  As I said, we have a plan and we have dreams; although as I write this I am totally shell shocked and in mourning for a home that is so full of memories and the markings of a family being raised; but the memories we will carry with us.  In a few days we will recover, strap on our boots and begin to pack up a lifetime.

My concern is for our country.  This, my proud family of six and the situation we are in, is a prime example of bank bailouts and organized health care.  But, we are one family in hundreds of thousands that this is happening to; and I for one think that is criminal.  As I said, this was a difficult story to share, but one worth getting out there if it will stop one more family from losing their home.  So where do we go from here?  Stay tuned.  I intend to talk more in the upcoming posts about the hows and whys of why I believe this was due to bank bailouts and why I believe that organized health care is a terrible idea.  I also will give some specific examples and tips as we go through the foreclosure process.  Again, if it can help another family, I am all for it.

Judy Jeute

Is it really over? Time for a new start. Period.

Okay, so I have been putting this post off for unknown reasons.  And this morning I think I figured it out....I was not quite ready to let go of Christmas Break (and yes, I still insist on calling it that at my Ranches!!!).  But it is time to GET REAL.  It was such a wonderful time with my family...

Of course my sons were home from college, oh what a joy!  With their smiles and messes and tons of friends and laundry we all had so much fun.  But what I miss the most I think is my chats with my oldest redhead; he is an early riser like me and we have such wonderful talks in the wee hours of the morning.  We talk about everything under the sun (or the moon as it sometimes seems) and often debate the problems of the world...

It was so very hard to let them go again, but to know that they are on their way to such great things makes it easier and to have seen their amazing growth in such a short time frame was a real eye opener.  So yes, the tears flowed; some from sadness but many out of sheer joy to see my boys fly away on wings of their very own.

It is my family here at home that helps keep me sane; the wonderful, tolerant creatures that they are.  With their jokes and helping hands and never ending support for all of my hair brained ideas we get by.  And at the end of the day we know we are a team; a well oiled machine that keeps this ranch running and is preparing to build a whole new adventure together....

Which leads me to my new start for 2012; come on, we have all felt it.  It is not some crazy end of the Mayan calendar or doomsday catastrophe.  But it is a time for change and new beginnings.  Time to open up to new ideas and become better neighbors and friends; more loving people all around.

And I have decided that where that starts for me is right here at home.  It is time to concentrate on me and my family.  What?  Didn't she just say to become a better neighbor, friend and loving person all around?  Yes, I sure did, and I have this odd feeling that I have gotten a bit off track.

I don't know where, if it was my back injury or just busy raising a family all the while fighting to keep it together financially in a crappy economy, but I have lost my way a bit.  And when I say "my way" I mean my goals in general; and I had to take a look at those goals and re-evaluate.

And what exactly are those goals?  Well, that is a good question, but I do know that I am headed for self-sustainability.  Period.  I am sick of depending on anyone.  A boss for money a store for food a power company for lights....You name it, I'm done.  Don't get me wrong, I am SO appreciative of all of those things for getting us where we are now, but it is time for us, The Jeute clan to move on.

Yes, those are totally lofty goals and they are going to take some time.  But do you know what happened as soon as I realized that this is what was really bothering me lately?  The loss of me and "my way"?  Such a release and a wave of what I would call good fortune!

It started with me praying.  Praying for nothing; because that is all I really knew what to pray for.  "Dear God, I'm not very good at this and I'm not even sure what to pray for besides all of the usual things like the health and happiness of all of my (and your) children....but other than that I leave it up to YOU!"

And you know what else really struck me?  Talking to my friend Lynley on the phone the other day she said to me "a person has gotta get out and do something, even if it is something wrong, at least you are doing something!" and she is absolutely right.  I think fear stops too many of us from doing things that we really would love to try but are afraid we might do wrong.  Well, who the hell cares?  It is much better to try something and know that you did it wrong and learn from your mistakes than to sit around wondering if you shoulda, coulda, woulda.

So I'm praying, and letting go of the things I need to let go (you know things that take your time and are not healthy or productive toward your goal) and trying new things.  And it has led me to two new Animal Consulting cases, one huge farm rescue (which I love due to the challenge and the joy of placing animals in a new loving, forever home!).....But most importantly it led me to doing something I didn't think I could do:

Build an incubator from scratch out of ALL recycled materials (the Judy way, of course)!!!  Complete with 14, yes 14 turkey eggs from my spectacular Chocolate turkey hen who started laying eggs, well, two weeks ago.  A turkey lays one egg per day so I had only 13 days to get this project together with a little help from who else but my wonderful family.  It took a while to test it and get it just so, but her is the finished product:

And my girl really surprised me on the last morning because I had added the 13 eggs and then I went up on the 14th day and there she was just getting up off the nest after incubating an egg for me overnight.  So that egg should be just about on the same schedule as the others as it takes 12-24 hours for the eggs to warm up to temperature and them to get fertilized.  I gently grabbed it and ran down to the house like I was carrying the Olympic flame or something!

 And this picture of my beautiful Chocolate Hen proves that dreams really do come true.  If you all recall, I asked Santa for a camera for Christmas.  Well I got one!!!

Happy Turkey Day, a bit early

My Beautiful BBB Turkeys;

now THIS is how a turkey is supposed to look!

(If I do say so myself, lol!)

Amongst the recalls and rumors, here it is almost Thanksgiving and I don't have too much nice to say about the turkey industry, I'm very sorry.  I know that the poultry industry really started out with good concepts, but it truly has gotten out of hand.  Antibiotics were once used to treat infection; not prevent it.  Hormones are a dangerous thing no matter how you look at it.  If they are medically called for as is sometimes the case in the aid of recovery for human beings and they should be scrutinized very carefully.  But who in their right mind wants to eat that stuff???  Not me.

The more I read, the more it convinces me that I am doing the right thing by raising our own food (or even hunting) , trying to buy local whenever I can and to really notice where my food comes from if I do have to buy it from the grocery store.  There are a lot of ways to go local folks; even at 9,000 feet in elevation.  You don't necessarily have to grow the stuff yourself.

You can buy direct from the farmers, at a drastically reduced price.  You can go online and buy from someone like Door to Door Organics; which obviously brings the stuff right to your door.  Or there are a couple of great websites dedicated to the eating local movement.  Eat Local Challenge is "a group weblog focusing on the importance of locally and sustainably grown food".  But the best one to get the whole family involved in is Eat Local.  It has a great animated feel to it that the kids will love and a down to earth way of explaining why it is so important to buy locally.

So come on Rebels and GSO readers, let's send those government cronies a message and tell them we chose to eat locally and sustainably.  Let them hear your message through your purchases, tell your friends to do the same, that is where we hit them the hardest...in the wallet; quiet and peacefully.

Have a great day!
JJ~

Clearing out the house!

Good morning Rebels!  It feels like a Monday to me and you all are already half way through your week.  I have had sick family members home all week and have not been all that well myself, so today I will spend the day clearing out the house just as the title says... WHEW!!!

It actually started last Thursday with my epidural.  To be honest I really wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary; I have had this done once before and it wasn't extraordinarily painful when I got the injection, but it was pretty wicked that first week.  So I tried to plan accordingly and you know, have myself somewhat prepared to be down for a bit.  What I was not prepared for was the horrific pain of the epidural itself. 

I am telling myself, and truly believing that the reason that this one was so much more painful than the first is because we had a bit more information this time and were really able to "zone in on" the exact targeted areas.  So I am going to be up and running in no time flat!  But what I will say is that this injection, for just a few seconds was worse than any labor pain or any other type of pain I could imagine, so if you are to have this type of thing, be prepared for that and maybe give yourself more than the 15 minutes of rest that they offer you.  When I got in the truck I did sit for a few more minutes just to catch my breath for the long drive up the mountain.

So I rested over the weekend like I was told to do and then all hell broke loose with that darn wind storm I told you about...not only did it blow down all the old trees but it blew in some nasty bug, let me tell you.  Tom, myself and my daughter all got hit with some sort of a flu bug and each of us got hit where we were the weakest.  Tom in the stomach, Bella in the chest and stomach and me in the tummy; and I say it that way because luckily mine was a lot less intense because I was still dealing with recovering-GEEZ!!!!

On Monday we took our daughter to the doctor.  And when I say we, that is something major because I can't even tell you the last time my husband took time off of work!  But, anyway, the three of us, sick as dogs, load up in the truck and head for our friendly Evergreen Kaiser.  Where they proceed to assuage my panic attack that my girl is not having asthma she is simply suffering from "flu like symptoms".  I will not share with you all the words we had to say about that diagnosis.  Awesome, is the nicest, and the most sarcastic.

Yesterday afternoon we (again, note the importance that The Big Bad Biker is still home, WHOA this is one nasty illness) started feeling a bit better and Tom filled the water troughs while I finally got some housework done around the pig sty, er I mean the house.  Yes, just enough that today hopefully I can get a little down and dirty with some citrus and de-germ this place so that the last healthy Jeute that lives here doesn't end up with "flu like symptoms".  Wonderful.

Oh, and by the way, I am no longer cross posting between here and The Double J Ranch (I reserve the right to do so if something is interesting to both blogs, or something I want to keep in my "journal" lol).  As I mentioned in my first post over thar' at the new blog, I really want that to just be a Journal for me and my family.  So, if you Rebels want to keep up on both you have to "Follow" both.  There are multiple ways to sign up on both blogs; you can sign up for me to just pop-in to your e-mail box each time I post (upper left corner of each blog) or you can click on any of the follow buttons too.  Either way your privacy is always protected with me, of course!

Have a great day!
JJ~

Judy's Garage Sale Cookies

This is what the turkey's did while we worked at the Yard Sale; caused trouble!

(this is my chocolate hen, isn't she pretty?)

Picture courtesy of Teri, again.

Good morning!!!  Hope your week is going well; mine is just flying by!  Here it is already Thursday and I am just posting the recipe for my brilliant new cookie recipe, that I discovered last weekend.  Doesn't my modesty just blow you away sometimes?  No, really, this is a good one.  Tried and tested by the entire neighborhood; and truly loved by all.

As you all know we had our Garage/Yard sale last weekend to recycle some household goods, but even better to get some new shoes for my baby...Yes, tires for my truck!  We are leaving for Texas possibly this evening, but for sure tomorrow morning to deliver llamas and we were running on slicks.  Nothing like cutting it close, the Jeute way, of course, but I got my new shoes yesterday and we got a heck of a deal on used tires for $100.  So look around people when you shop for tires, because retail is NOT the way to go for tires, Baby.  Try a savings of over $500 and not much tread is missing from these tires, again we got really lucky with this deal, but we really shopped around!

As a matter of fact, while I waited for my tires, I snacked on the last of the delicious cookies.  Since they have oatmeal in them, I figured they were good enough for a snack food (as good as any of those snack crap items that put in wrappers these days) and packed 'em up to go!  Oh, and thanks Mom and Dad for the dried cherries, I raided them from your pantry when I got your mail the other day....couldn't resist...they were just too tempting.  But for most readers you can just get them at Costco or dehydrate them yourself; also you could substitute any dried fruit I would imagine, but the tangy taste of the cherry really added a nice flavor!

And by the way, we didn't make ANY money at all at the bake sale because some of our first customers were the local deputies, and were we really supposed to charge the badges for their cookies and lemonade?  And then of course we had to give a taste to our neighbors who just popped by to say hello and take some pictures....!!!

Judy's Garage Sale Cookies:

1 cup soft margarine
1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar (I would imagine regular would work just fine)
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
3 cups old fashioned oatmeal
1 generous cup dried cherries, coarsely chopped

Heat oven to 350*.  Beat together margarine and sugars until creamy and then add eggs and vanilla and mix well.  Combine dry ingredients in separate bowl, adding oats last; then mix cherries into this dry mixture and coat them well.  Combine wet and dry mix, don't over-beat.  Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden, not golden brown or they will dry out too much in my opinion.  Cool on cookie sheet for a minute or so and then move to wire rack.  Makes about 4 dozen.  You can also make this into a bar cookie in a 13x9 (also ungreased) I would think and bake it for 30-35 minutes.  Enjoy!

Join us Rebels, Tell the FDA to regulate GMO foods!

Good Morning Rebels!  Happy hump day; hope you are having a wonderful week; but even more importantly I hope you will join me in signing this all important petition.  It is high time we know exactly what we are eating; and that people who are not yet even aware of how deeply GMO foods are embedded into our everyday diets, become aware and knowledgeable about what they are putting into the mouths of their beloved families!

The Recycled Garden/Small Victories

 Pepper

Well, this might  be one of the most confusing posts I have ever written-ha!!!  It is sort of a two part series I guess, but I didn't do it intentionally, you see.  What happened is in early July I started a garden, a completely recylced garden; and one that I am darn proud of.  But I don't have a camera right now....so I kept putting off this post.  And for another, bigger reason; my garden is not NEAR the producer that I had hoped that it would be.  But anyway, read on; these next few paragraphs have been sitting in my drafts folder since July 5th (I do believe):

The story of the Recycled Garden really began almost twenty years ago when Tom and I broke our backs soon after being married in a rather large garden in a very muddy rental that the slugs ate every bit of.  I think we literally got three leaves of lettuce, but after seeing how many slugs had been on the damn things we weren't touching it!

Fast forward about 17 or 18 years and we try again on a much smaller scale and life and health and everything else gets in the way and not much came of the last garden we tried.  But this year is going to be different, dangit!!!  I have really thought and planned and planned and thought....

So, really it started out with a nice patch of land that we had tilled up.  Then Tom and the neighbor got a little crazy cleaning the llama pens with the tractor one day and dumped literally three feet of composting material on top of my prepared garden.  Now, that may sound nice, but this is stuff that may take a few years to break down properly...and again it is three feet deep!

But then my sister donated me these two lovely rhubarb plants that love composted material!  Well, let's get to work on that pile of sh**!  I spent the day Saturday raking it and leveling it all back out and it really turned out very nice.  But the best part is the stuff I used to make my little "raised" bed; old bricks and concrete core samples (these are perfectly round concrete, I have always liked them and waited and waited for a use for them; they are heavy as all get out!).  The bricks are kind of cool because many of them are not just plain bricks; one has a criss cross pattern in it, etc.  Very artistic.

I broke the main garden down into quadrants.  I had planted a rhubarb "crown" (we broke the original plants down into five plants) in each corner to prevent deer from coming into the garden.  Carrots, corn, lettuce and spinach each got planted into one quadrant yesterday.  Yes, it is a bit late to start some of these things, but on my organic, non-GMO seed packets it said to wait until soil temps are at 60*, which would be about now for my altitude; so between travel plans and that fact I figure I am not too far off.

At the head of my cute little garden I placed "The Gate to Nowhere" as my daughter calls it.  It's just a cool old heavy metal gate with neat decorative metal that I can let my beans grow up.  On either side of that is the head and foot board of an old baby crib that I got from a local church when I worked the food pantry;I'll have a second type of bean on those, Royal's of course.  It's funny, they just don't make stuff as cool or as decorative as they  used to it seems.

And then today I was walking around my little homestead; putting the llamas on various stake lines to finish mowing the fall foliage with the turkeys, dogs and cats all close on my heels when I realized we had a very successful harvest for our first year at 9,000 feet in elevation.  I made a salad one night from my very own lettuce and it was delicious.  My daughter comes home everyday from school and pulls a 4inch carrot out of the ground and then takes one to share with her favorite llama, Pepper.  We have two neighbors who are so happy about their turkeys they are already looking forward to next years adventures in turkeydom!

So, with or without pictures, this was a harvest that was worth sharing and a victory for The Royal Ranch and it's Rebel friends.  We didn't get much, but we did get some, and we got enough to share... And we will also use our knowledge and move on.  Oh, and MOST importantly, I proved my son wrong who said I wouldn't be able to grow ANTYHING!!!  HA!

A musical clue:

Llamas and sheep and turkeys, oh my!!!

Photo courtesy of Kevin, our renter.

It seems that my last few posts have continually been of me sort of apologizing for not being here for one reason or another...I realize that is because my life has really been in an upheaval of sorts lately.  My sons moved on to college, my youngest started middle school, and I found out that my back "issue" is a permanent disability all at once; which led me to start making huge changes here at the ranch.

Well, this last week has really been a whopper if I do say so myself.  It started last Saturday when we place three llamas; and I must say that those boys really moved up in the world!  They now reside on 160 acres in a spectacular valley about an hour drive away; so I will be able to visit them often.  The transfer of the boys went flawlessly thanks to my fellow llama wrangler and partner in life and all things crazy, my hubby.

The very next day we headed off to the sister in law's house; as she works at a livestock auction.  I was going to take Paco, my ram, whom I was so positive would go as a fantastic breeding animal.  We loaded him and Esther, my ewe up (just for company for Paco) and headed out for eastern Colorado.  Monday was the big livestock auction, and when I say big, you must take that with a grain of salt because this really is a small town auction, but that is what I wanted for Paco and us since this was our first experience ever.

When we backed the trailer in there was commotion about our beautiful sheep and so I put Esther in the auction too; with a minimum.  They both sold at a premium price for what sheep are going for these days; I got what I purchased them for two years ago!  So, anyway, Annie (SIL), didn't have any help that day, so Tom and I pitched in and helped "load out".  Meaning that we got to load out all of the animals that were purchased at auction that day.  Some of them just a day old.  It was quite a learning experience for Tom, Isabella, Nathan and myself; but it was really cool because I was able to tell some of the new owners "hey, this one has a cough" or "this goat needs to be milked right away" or whatever.  I am hoping that maybe some of the new owners got instructions that they might not have gotten otherwise.

Esther had been one of the first to go.  I was sad to see her go, and I am pretty sure that she went to a great home.  And I say pretty sure because as the day wore on and I got more tired I saw some pretty crazy stuff.  Like a guy stuffing 16 goats and a giant pig in a trailer on top of a load of lumber that he had purchased; but we got them in!!!  All day I waited and wondered when Paco's new owner would come....and then a semi pulled up to the loading dock and my stomach sank.  That's right Rebels; my beautiful ram was headed to PA to a packing plant.

And that is also why they don't let crazy chicks like me carry guns; because when I went to say goodbye to him I literally thought that if I had had a gun I might just shoot him dead right there to avoid him having to travel half way across the country to get the old hammer head.  But I am a big girl, and I had made a big girl decision and I had to abide by it...  Think what you want of me but that is truly the way I felt.

Tom didn't think I looked to good after that little shock and working so hard all day so he took us all to Carl's Jr. after the auction; and that is when he calmly reminded me that he needed to take Tia with him the next day; she was to have knee surgery.  A dear friend was paying for her surgery and was going to care for her during her rehab so we were supposed to lose her for at least a couple of months; while she recuperated (I didn't think I was capable with my back).  I lost it!  I started choking on my all time favorite guacamole burger and was literally making a scene.  I had forgotten that the days were so close together and just didn't want to talk about one more loss at the time.

So Tuesday dawns and I have to say goodbye to Tia.  I get through that and take my son to the orthodontist and finally get his braces on.  Now this is a really big deal.  This kid has been waiting 18 years for these braces; he has a cleft pallet that has never been properly fixed and the clock was really ticking on this thing; if we didn't start now, there was no fixing it at all.  Big emotions there (this is my adopted son).  And then he's gone...back to college.  Another goodbye.

I'm not ashamed to say, Tuesday when I was driving home, I have never been so tired in my life.  I had said goodbye to my kids multiple times by now.  My back was killing me from working the auction the day before, I couldn't get the fact that my spectacular ram was on that semi headed east towards a hammer that I don't even believe in and now I was contributing too out of my head.... And my beloved Tia was gone for months!  At least, maybe more.  I got the kids off the bus and went to bed.

Well, it's amazing what a nap will accomplish; because when I woke up there was a message.  There had been a mix-up and Tia had to come home for a night....which led us to find out she really didn't need any lifting....she could still walk on three legs just like she did before the surgery!  And  do you know the most amazing thing Rebels????  My dear friend (actually Tia's breeder) still paid for her surgery!  And sent us all sorts of meds for the dear patient, like stuff for her arthritis which she is sure to get, and pain meds that oh thank the Lord that she has had because this has been one very painful surgery for the girl.

Tia and I have had a very busy week, what with all the pain and biting at her knee; we didn't even realize it was getting so close to Saturday....Turkey Day!  You know, I wasn't sure how to feel about Turkey Day, I was dreading it and looking forward to it all at once.  You Rebels know how much I loved those turkeys.  They were my pride and joy; they followed me all over the ranch, even to get the mail and when I laughed they gobbled.  But due to human intervention, if we had not harvested these turkeys, they would have gone down on their legs (their breasts are too large, the legs can't support them), or they would have died of a heart attack.

Photo courtesy of Teri, our friend/neighbor/customer!

Of course I had done a ton of research and was all ready for the big turkey harvesting and we turned it into a big party.  Check out some of the pictures on the facebook page if you want, still don't have a camera, thinking about putting on a donation button for that!  The pics were taken by a friend/neighbor/customer.  We were blessed that morning by our first visit by a big bull moose so I knew things were going to go well that day.  (I may do a post on turkey harvesting for my own records and for those that are agriculture readers, so  those that aren't beware!)

I can't believe all the changes we have made around here.  Three llamas, two sheep, two turkeys...  And we are not done yet.  But I think that is enough for right now.  My heart and head are still reeling from the loss of all the critters and kids.  And I would like to say another thing, I always say that things happen for a reason and I firmly believe that.  Like one of my turkeys getting killed by a neighbors dog and us not having one of that type to harvest for our family this year; well maybe our family is meant to have a heritage turkey (meaning not human intervened) for our first bird; who knows?  And we were invited over for the turkey dinner at our friend's house...there sure is plenty to go around!  Things always turn out the way they are supposed to...now wait to hear what I have up my sleeve!  Please, stay tuned in!!!  I have a music clue cued up for tomorrow as to what The Royal Ranch may be up to next....

My boys are home!!!

 

(One of my favorite pictures ever!)

And almost that time of year again!

Here I said I was going to be back to posting more regularly and I have let my beloved blog go again; I just can't seem to get back into the swing of things somehow.  I know I will get there Rebels, have faith...But this morning I woke up with my heart bursting with happiness as my house is literally jam-packed with kids!!! (I've even got 'em sleeping in the back of my truck, yeehaw!!!)

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of my sons.  Thomas has been working at his job for over a week now and Austin will be starting his job as soon as his new boss gets her health in order.  They are both doing very well in their new classes....meaning that they haven't missed any with all of the partying they are doing!  Which to be totally honest with you is all I can ask at this point in time.

A couple of times when we have spoken, each of them have been doing some type of homework so that makes me feel good too.  But, I must say that most of the time that we talk they are doing some kind of enjoyable thing  and meeting all sorts of new people.  Like the roommate of one of the other boys from our little town of Bailey that is all the way from Hamburg Germany!  They tell me they're having a hard time remembering names-ha!

The changes at the ranch are still making slow but sure progression...I think that is my mental hold up here on the blog...and in my routine.  I am just not sure about this new life of mine-ha!  I am working very hard on PT for my back; but more importantly I am working on staying positive and keeping the vibes of the ranch good!  Tell me what all are you up to?  How do you stay positive during big changes in your life???

Royal Ranch Royalty: Shades of Change

 Shade

Well it is time to sit down in front of my computer and try to heal my broken heart with words.  See, I have been telling you Rebels about changes here at The Royal Ranch and they have all really started to hit me these last few weeks; thus my absence from this blog.  

We lost our beloved cat Shade a few weeks back and I knew it would be very symbolic of the times ahead.  Shade was our nurse and one of my best friends here at the ranch.  If any one was not feeling well, Shade was the first to let me know by laying by that animal or person and meowing insistently!  It was uncanny his ability to know that a spirit was not well before they actually showed symptoms outwardly.  I guess it was from his time living at the vet clinic for so many years; Shade had been a blood donor cat before he came to live at the Royal Ranch.

Which is how he became a character in my childrens book, Llucky Llama.  His name in the book is no other than Cuddly Cat of course.  Cuddly Cat is buried right next to Dedicated Dog; my first Great Pyrenees that was one of the greatest dogs I have ever owned in my entire life.  As a matter of fact, that spot has not been used since Marilyn (Dedicated Dog) passed.  Tom tried to bury another dog there one time and about got his head bit off by me-ha!  Sometimes there are just animals that are extraordinarily special in our lives and Shade and Marilyn were those type of animals.

As I said, I knew the winds of change were blowing; I just didn't know how hard.  That week I had gotten the news about my back.  I had gone back in because my back just isn't making progress.  It will be a year in October since my surgery and I have tried everything except chiropractic care.  And I do mean everything.  Walking, Pilates, stretching, yoga, acupuncture, etc., although it is all very good stuff it does not completely take away my pain.  I saw multiple docs in one week, one of them a specialist on the field who then sent me to another ultra-specialist who all agree; this is a lifelong issue.

The good news is is that the last specialist I saw did give me a shot in the spine that sent me into a horrific tizzy for about a week; and boy was it a painful tizzy, but I am better now.  So Rebels, please keep your fingers crossed that I can get these shots every three months for a little bit of pain relief!!!!  The timing was perfect because my back was feeling better just in time for me to deal with my next big change....

Which is losing my sons.  And to be perfectly honest, I suck at letting go.  I know that they are going to college and that they are doing the best thing for them, and that this is what is supposed to happen, but it still really hurts my heart.  I miss them sooo much it physically hurts sometimes.  And I know I'm not the only one out there; maybe I am the only willing to admit it, I don't know.

We took them to Gunnison, Co; the home of Western State College on Friday.  They will share a dorm room and will start classes on Monday.  Thomas already got a job and Austin has an interview today; so their lives are just going wonderfully!  My heart bursts with pride each and every time I get a text or a call or an email from one of them.  I really can't believe that my 2 sons are at college; to be honest I wasn't sure it could really happen.

These are two boys that come from homes that are not made of money.  As a matter of fact they are the first of both their families to ever have gone to college.  Thankfully, due to Austins legal circumstances (our adopting him) his schooling is entirely paid for with grants and loans (mostly grants-yeah!); but it really came down to the wire with our Bubby.  We have been selling things (anyone need a plow truck? ha!) and creative budgeting like no one's business.  I even swapped for some of his text books (review of book swapping sites to come in the following days, there are definite differences!).

Speaking of Austin's other home, that has been a constant source of stress this week also.  Since we have been a part of his life I have been very careful to include his other family and try to make one big happy family so that the boy does not feel as if he has to choose between the two.  I know that he loves his dad and his sisters and needs to keep contact with them; it is very important.  But this last week has just about killed me.  His Dad has let him down one too many times in my book.  As have the step mom and the sisters and the rest of them....I just couldn't take the hurt expression on my sons face any longer.  On the way up to Gunnison, I kept asking Tom what I could do to make up for the terrible week he had had, and all he kept saying is "Hon, you've got to let it go, you are already doing the best you can.  Just be who you are.  He knows how much WE love him."

I was telling my sister that I was so upset that Thursday, the last day I had with the boys had been such a stressful day because we had been running to Austins last dental appointments and needed to get their toiletries, etc.  And that at first I was wishing we had spent it differently, but when I looked back on it, I had been able to sneak in the fact that I had asked the dentist about cleft pallets and they are not related to fetal alcohol or drug abuse; a fact which Austin had grown up thinking and blaming his Mother for.  And when his Dad told him he wasn't coming home to say goodbye to his own son before he left for college; well I was there to buffer the blow and explain to Austin that it was because he just couldn't handle saying goodbye.

So, sometimes even a harried, stressful day can turn into one that is very meaningful to those we love.  That night when we got home, hours later than we had planned, our neighbors were waiting for us.  They were here gathered to say goodbye to our beloved boys.  They are the ones who truly love and respect these kids.  It's not always blood that makes a family.  We had my daughter's best friend and her Mom and sister.  The boys' best friend who is one year younger (poor kid getting left behind) and his family, who have truly become our dearest friends; and our beloved neighbors Dan and Judy over.  It was so perfect.

In the midst of all of this; I have been eluding to changes here at The Royal Ranch.  They have been a long time in the making I suppose, but it sort of came as a shock to me.  The biggest being that I have realized that I am probably not going to be doing pack jobs anymore.  There are times when my back is bad that I can't even make it up the stairs so it is a bit concerning to make a reservation for a pack trip up a mountain that is six miles one way.

Which really means that I have way too many llamas than I need.  And on top of it, I am losing my Great Pyr, Tia.  She has a cruciate tear that needs surgery that we cannot afford nor take care of after the surgery.  I am very blessed that the person who gave her to me is willing to take her back and pay for the surgery that I have arranged through a dear friend of mine and then care for her during her recovery stage....We will take it one day at a time after that.  The problem with caring for a dog that weighs more than I do, is that she will need to be physically moved, etc after her surgery.

So, I am slowly but surely placing my llamas, Tia will leave around the 13th of September, Paco my ram is going to Auction where he should pull a pretty good price and will not get eaten because Rams are yucky to eat and so I can finally feel comfortable taking an animal to auction and seeing how it all works.  I may replace the ram; the main reason he is going is because I would like to breed his daughter this year.  But the whole ghist of the ranch is changing a bit...

As a matter of fact, I had decided that I was going to do poultry.  That was until the neighbors dog killed one of my prize turkeys last week.  Yes, in the middle of my crazy week; I was in filling out paperwork with the boys which is how it happened because normally when the turks are out I have my eye on them at all times.  But this day, we were busy doing last minute stuff for the college, and I heard a ruckus and went out to find the dog eating my turkey.

Although they have offered to compensate me financially, it was very hard for me to determine a price on the first turkey.  First of all, the turkey was not harvested properly so I was unable to save the feathers which on these types of turkeys is a good portion of their value.  We, of course, were unable to save the meat after a dog had been eating it.  But what really bothered me the most was the waste of the whole thing.  I think you as Rebels know that I do not waste anything.

Let alone the amount of hard work and time and love that we all had put into these turkeys.  We knew that the turkeys were going to die; as a matter of fact we all were quite proud of the fact that these three were going to be the first animals that we actually planned on raising from the get go and eating.  Now we will not even be tasting our own hard work as the remaining two have already been sold to friends who have driven in our driveway, taken one look at those beautiful turkeys and asked if they were for sale.

So, my future business plans are as follows:  I am going to continue my writing; I think I may even finally have time to take that second childrens book out of my head and put it onto paper!  The ranch will continue to size down a bit, literally.  The llamas will find the right homes as they come along, and I will slowly grow my poultry/feather business as I feel it is safe.  The loss of my sons I guess I will get used to(?!?), but the loss of Shade....well, that was an indicator of times a changin' I'm afraid.

I would really love to hear from you Rebels.  Have you dealt with losing your children to college and if so what helped?  What about other losses and changes in your lives.....???

'Nuf Said!

Dear Rebels,

I recently went into my local feed store because I was entirely out of my regular organic/Non-GMO/no-soy feed for my poultry.  I have to tell you I was so totally caught off guard by the owners total lack of knowledge and even defense on the subject of Genetically Engineered feed that I even had myself wondering if this was a lost battle.  That was until I got back in the truck with my kids and my fifteen year old son said "Mom, I could tell you were getting really mad; and I understand your point.  I just don't think I can explain it".

That is when I realized that I am so passionate about this movement and how it has affected the growth of our children (really, did girls used to have boobs and bums that size?) that I have a hard time coming up with the proper words.  So, although I promised my regular readers a different post for next time, I read some wonderful news online today that really brings my point home; and PLEASE take the time to read the entire article; you don't want to miss paragraphs like this:

Many NaturalNews readers will recall the numerous incidents involving lawsuits filed by Monsanto against non-GMO farms whose crops were inadvertently contaminated by GM material. In many of these cases, the defendants ended up becoming bankrupted by Monsanto, even though Monsanto's patented materials were the trespassers at fault.

And:

But it appears that the tables are now turning. Instead of Monsanto winning against organic farmers, organic farmers can now achieve victory against Monsanto. In other words, farmers being infringed upon by the drifting of GM material into their fields now have a legal leg to stand on in the pursuit of justice against Monsanto and the other biotechnology giants whose "frankencrops" are responsible for causing widespread contamination of the American food supply.

Just like the title, "Nuf Said!

Rebels; Today is OUR Day!!!!

I pledge to start each day out listening to this most uplifting song ever:

Farmageddon; a great movie supporting local agriculture!

As you all know, I am very dedicated to supporting my local farmers as much as possible.  But for me, living in the mountains and not really having local farmers that is a little harder to do.  It is a learning process (one that I am very much still in the process of), Colorado may not be the biggest agricultural state, but by golly it is an agricultural state by some standards; mine included.

I am very proud to be a part of the agricultural business, I say it is in my blood.  It must have skipped a generation (my Mom is not really into the whole animal/growing thing-ha!).  See, my Grandparents were farmers in Iowa; they moved here to leave the farm life behind, I do believe.  But somehow it is just inside some of us, and I can't help myself...when I collect the eggs I am fascinated with the smooth little jewels of various colors.  And oh, my wonderful sheep that bleat for me if I am late to feed them...

And as for my packing llama string...I recently saw some pictures on Pinecam (our local gossip emag-ha!) of our ranch with Charlie Royal doing pack strings with horses...Well aren't we just going full circle?  I wish I still had that much land Charlie...But anyway, the joy that they bring me and our visitors is unparalleled; we get to teach our guests about our area, our way of life, but even better yet, how to be good stewards of the environment!

So to me, being a farmer these days is a lot more than just throwing stuff in the ground or raising organic animals.  It is about defending our rights to do so.  And teaching people about why we are doing it that way.  And why it is so important for us to raise heirloom varieties and heirloom chickens and sheep so that we don't have only one kind of corn or tomato or potato (and that there are still some nutrients in them).  No matter which way you say it; tomato or tomahto, potato or potahto, if there is no variety it would still suck.

Needless to say I was really excited to hear about this documentary:


Farmageddon - Movie Trailer from Kristin Canty on Vimeo.

Made by a Mom.  Check it out, there are screenings in towns all over the USA, or you can buy the DVD.  I have to wait for the movie....bummer!

Chronic pain and The Spoon Theory

I read this "theory" a long time ago; it's been floating around the blogosphere a long time.  But it took me some time to apply it to my own life.  See I try and act like my life is perfectly fine all the time.  And then it all catches up with me and my daughter will sleep on the floor in my room and catch me crying in my sleep...

So, it doesn't take not having Lupus for this theory to apply.  Or any other label for that matter.  Many of us need to live spoon by spoon; and that needs to be okay with us and the ones that love us.  And here is my spoon to you, dear Rebels, because you mean a lot to me! 

All is well on the shirtfront, er I mean the homefront.

My biopsy results are back and they are negative!  Whew! What a relief.  Although I have been added to some sort of high risk group and will be welcomed back with open arms in 6 months for another mammogram (believe me, I will be getting more details on why later) I will just take the good news and run with it for now.  But I do think it is a tad bit of karma for bucking the system (and my Dad) in this post that I have to have more frequent mammograms.

As a matter of fact, it got me to thinking....thinking about a show I used to watch as a kid.  So, I did what any red-blooded American would do and I searched You Tube for it; I found it right away of course, but I decided that the show would have been much better off with three girls anyway (the make-up of my family) ha!  But another video did catch my eye....(and of course the Guanacos had nothing to do with it-ha!), so I thought I'd share:



So, folks, I don't think I need to tell you what the lesson of the day is...

Girl Power

It was quite ironic this morning when I got an e-mail from my husband that had this quote in it because  I woke up feeling all full of "Girl Power" anyway;

'Whatever  you give a woman, she will make greater. If you  give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you  give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you  give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If  you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what  is given to her. So, if you give her any crap,  be ready to receive a ton of  shit.'

Which is really funny, because just Tuesday I really felt like the world might be caving in around me.  So, I called on my "Girls".  And guess what happened?  Miracles, baby, miracles!

Tuesday was my "new" sons first dental appointment; and this is a rather big deal as he has a cleft pallet that has not been properly cared for.  I have joked my whole maternal life that the doctor forgot to cut the umbilical cord of my children because I can still "feel" them; well I must have grown a new cord with Austin because that day when he was in the dentist I KNEW he was having a rough time of it.  So I went for a walk....And realized my Sister worked on that campus and gave her a call.

My Sister is a Registered Dietitian at University Hospital...and she has a few connections.  But even more importantly she met me in between meetings and pagings and consults to give me a HUG!  We were laughing at ourselves because this campus is huge and she was talking to me on the phone trying to find me and looking lost (at her place of work no less), and I was having to look at what I was wearing to describe it to her...it was all too funny.   But she spared me  those few minutes that led to amazing things for my son....

Yesterday was my biopsy.  And well, I owe you Rebels an apology.  I lied.  I was scared Sh#*L##s.  See, my BIL has Lip cancer; and when I went to look it up online for my SIL, I found out that breast cancer normally spreads to the bone....Which got me to thinking that I have breast cancer and that it had spread to my spine and that is why it won't get better.   I also found out that I have all the symptoms of this type of cancer...like spinal pain, unexplained weight loss, fatigue, etc.  But guess what, another one of my "Girls" came through for me, my Mom.

My parents had practically insisted on driving me, and to be honest it was a huge relief to have Mommy and Daddy there to take care of things.  They took me to a great lunch and I didn't have to worry about telling them directions like I would with my new drivers...Whew! What a relief!

Mom was even able to come in with me for the biopsy itself and even at the age of 40 to be able to have your Mother there to hold your hand or to be in the room when your in pain is a salve in itself.  To have the second set of ears was even better.  We learned that even if these are cancerous cells, they are contained and would be considered pre-cancerous, which is fabulous news.  They did have to do WAY (14 holes total) more than I thought they were going to do, but hey, at least it is over!

So anyway, back to more "Girl Power".  My parents had taken me to Tom so he could bring me the rest of the way home; just a short time later I get a call from my Mom.  Guess what?  My Sister has already found a dentist that will help us with my son...Pro Bono.  I mean it took some time for all of this to sink in.  Just the day before I had been walking aimlessly around this medical campus worrying that my children could be losing their Mom, one of whom I had just adopted and may be losing a second mother, (and at the very least how in the hell were we going to take care of his mouth?)....OMG!!!!!!  I mean REALLY my thoughts started to go crazy. 

And just one day later...with the help of all my girls, we had solved all the problems of the world!  Oh, and Dad did the driving-ha!!!!!!  I think he's used to that role, he has done it his whole life...and I can't tell him what a wonderful job he has done "driving" us Girls...Driving us to do our best, and driving us to be our best and then driving us to our appointments when we REALLY need him.

So, if the world gives you a little crap ladies, be prepared to give it a Ton of Shit.  Just sayin'.