Monday, October 5, 2009

The Winds of Change

The air is cool and crisp, there is a thick layer of frost on the ground and the leaves have all but disappeared due to last week's strong winds. The winds of change are blowing through my spirit as well, and I have decided to take you all on the journey. I've got to tell you, I have internally debated about this post for weeks, my extended family, friends and neighbors along with my dedicated readers are privy to parts of my life and thoughts through this blog that I'm not sure that I was even aware of until I put them in writing. Many things can be difficult or embarrassing to discuss, but as I have said before, I would not be a good author if I don't deal with a few tough issues.

Where do I begin this odd little story? A few months ago? A lifetime ago? With my epilepsy diagnosis? I am positive now that it is all tied together, but I am not sure how, and I am also somewhat sure that this blog is tied in. Which is why I am asking for your open minds as you read my story-if anything catches your eye, please comment or pass along to someone who may have a comment. That is the whole reason I am putting this out there; to share my journey and to connect with others on a similar path. Okay, down to business.

So, I believe that this story really heats up a couple of months ago when I had one of my dreams; and I say it this way because I have had these dreams my whole life. I'm pretty sure I can remember the first one because it was so upsetting; I had been sleeping with my Mom, couldn't sleep well and had dreamt that my Dad had been killed in a car accident. You can imagine my young girl screams when I answered the phone later that morning to find out Dad really had been in an accident, luckily he was fine. Another very memorable one was from middle school when all I could see was blood and later that day my friend was goofing off in the hallway and tore hiss bottom eye lid off on a door hinge, I'm pretty sure my Mom had to pick me up from school that day. Recently I had one that Tom and I crashed in the bus that my parents travel in so I had my Dad check all of the brake systems, only to find out it wasn't the brake systems, but another much more extensive (and expensive) one. So anyway, I'm pretty used to the dreams by now, and they never come all the way true, that is to say, the dreams are much worse usually than what happens in real life. Which is a good thing, because the dreams are very traumatic for me (and whoever is in them with me!).

The dream that I had was that Tom was leaving me, and if you know us at all, you know that that is as far a stretch as we could get, even in the dream I knew it wasn't right. But, this one was different, I could not get control of myself; not during the dream, not after the dream, and not for quite some time that morning. As usual, it was my morning chores and my critters that finally got me somewhat pulled together. It was up at the barn when I ran into our neighbor that I rarely see, Don King, no not the one with the crazy hair. We had quite a nice visit, he was always so happy to hear news of the latest llama rescue. I was very sad to hear that Don had a massive stroke later that day, and died the next, but was happy to have given him a few grins that day.

This was only the beginning of a very strange series of events for me, my sister in law was in a very serious accident, we had foreclosure papers in the mailbox (that same day) although our mortgage had not gone into foreclosure (not even a missed payment, just a misunderstanding), we lost a llama; to be honest, I can't even remember it all now. I kept saying to myself okay, so this is why I had the dream and it will stop now, and things have calmed down a bit. But, since that dream, there have been changes to my other odd abilities, like knowing who is on the phone, or who I will see when, nothing important or life changing, actually quite irritating, but quite persistent.

Around the time that I had this dream, I had a booking at The Royal Roost, and the way things had been going, it was not at all surprising when they cancelled and asked for a return of their deposit. Being the cheap ass that I am, I normally will only return half of a deposit, but because I was so mentally drained, was not prepared for a battle and simply mailed the entire deposit back. The gal was so appreciative of my kindness that she offered to do an astrology reading for me for free. I must say, a chill ran down my spine, and I got the feeling I get in my stomach when it is connected with my dreams, I felt strongly that she had been put in my path for a reason. I checked her out as best I could and somewhat reluctantly agreed. I had to go through a little bit of a hassle to get the information she needed, but I knew it was something I had to do, because at this point I needed a little bit of guidance.

She called me last Monday morning for our appointment. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was excited, anxious and very afraid for unknown reasons. Her name is Sajit, and she really did a great job, jumped right in, while not getting too overly technical she did not get too over the top either, stayed on a playing field that did not scare a somewhat normal person like me away. Here I am writing an article like this, calling myself normal, okay maybe I really have lost it! Anyway, an astrology reading is much more than what sign you are, it involves things like houses and moons and suns and things that I would never even consider myself qualified enough to talk about, but it can really paint a picture of what you "bring to the table" with you, so to speak. She made very clear that she is not a psychic or anything and that this reading was just something to learn from. Boy was it ever!

I shouldn't have been surprised when she brought up psychic abilities, I knew that's why she had been put in my life, but I really don't like to talk about my oddities, so of course I burst into tears the minute she mentioned it. Dead giveaway, here I was trying not to give away any information-ha!!! She had already pegged my every personality trait and idiosyncrasy and had asked if I was ready to look further into my spiritual guides and gifts-oh, is that what you call it?

Let me take you back just a bit. Last year for Christmas my parents got me the book The Secret for Christmas (thanks Mom and Dad) and it literally changed our lives. It was funny, because it was on back order and I happened to get it at a very low time in my life. I had just been fired from a job (shoveling manure for a vet that I was unhappy with anyway) that I hated and was over checking on their place while they travelled when it arrived, right after the new year. Well, that book was the start to my children's book, Naked~Nure and this blog, again, thanks Mom and Dad. I bring up that book because it is a huge part of the "spiritual" journey that I find myself on now, as well.

I say that because after I got off the phone with Sajit I no longer felt the dread, duty and fear that always came along with my "abilities". I now am starting to feel a little more excited and open to them and feeling as if obviously there is a strong reason for them. Any of you that know me, know that I will start any problem with research, and at this point in time, I have done very little. Some very interesting things are coming up, which is why I chose to share with all of you this early in the ball game. I have decided to use this blog as part of a diary and as a connection. Since it is strongly involved in the roots of this experience, I believe it will help it grow, with help from those of you who wish to share.

Back to my minuscule research; when I was diagnosed with Epilepsy I got a book called Epilepsy: A New Approach. Another time when my "abilities" were on the red alert and bothering me, I bought a book called The Gift, Understand and Develop Your Psychic Abilities and then recently after my chat with Sajit I bought a book called Opening to Channels; and as you know my favorite book ever is The Secret. Well, what do all of these books have in common, absolutely nothing, but me, of course! That's not really true, as I got to reading the newest one that Sajit had recommended, it was almost as if I had read it before. I could take a sentence from any one of those books and replace it with one of the others, it is almost uncanny. The subject matters are really quite different in all of them, but take bits and pieces of information and they fit together perfectly and make one Judy Jeute-ha!

Many years ago, when I was seeing doctors often about my seizures, I remember asking them if there was a connection between paranormal activities and epilepsy only to have them mumble some sort of non committal answer. That was ten years ago now, and sad to say when I typed it into Google, it was only other people asking if anyone else had that connection or if they were crazy. I did find one good article here, but would love to find some responses to some of those questions posed on the medical sites that are years old now. I will not bore you with a bunch of technicalities, but my epilepsy related problems are based in the right temporal lobe, which is also the lobe which is said to be related with paranormal activity. I also know that there is a connection because on my bad brain days my "abilities" are much more in tune, and vice versa, when my abilities are strong, it is very draining on my brain.

Okay, so I've said it a few times in this post, but it's very important for those of you that have anything to say, good or bad to say it. We have the Marines, engineers, scientists, moms, gardeners, teachers and everyone in between reading this, so we should have all sorts of spiritual opinions and I am open to anything. If you have read this blog at all, you know that it is important for me to say what I mean without offending anyone, so with that said, from now on I will use the tag Metaphysical when I am posting about this odd little subject! That way if you think this is all a bunch of hoo-ha, you can still enjoy the blog and skip a day or so here and there! Have a miracle of a day!

P.S. I wanted to add that if you'd like to get in touch with Sajit Greene, MA, LPC, just let me know. She is a counselor that went into astrology to get a better understanding of her clients.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

You know, I love this line from the movie Garden State. Sam says, "you are really 'in it' right now, aren't you?" I always think of that when I'm really dealing with a problem, honestly, and with my whole heart...

And, coincidentally, she has epilepsy (in the movie anyway).